For kicks this week, let’s talk about two shows that most people wouldn’t consider to be culturally significant, two shows that I think demonstrate very interesting cultural attitudes toward teenage situations, two shows that make us wonder what the kids are doing right now.

I am, of course, referring to Degrassi: The Next Generation and The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

(Yeah, yeah, I’m aware these shows aren’t examples of political satire. But, I do think they say something about our cultural values, and besides, there’s a little “x” at the top of your computer screen that will make all of your troubles disappear).

Degrassi: The Next Generation, the newest iteration of the Degrassi franchise, tells the story of Degrassi High School, a school in a lower middle class neighborhood, and the kids that attend it. Sex, death, rape and drug addiction rule the day as every kid on the show — and there are many kids — have some sort of major personality disorder. The show often moves into unintentional parody as the same set of kids endure an almost unimaginable number of social problems.

On the flipside is ABC Family’s The Secret Life of the American Teenager, which centers around Amy, a high-school sophomore with a new baby and her collection of friends and acquaintances, all with varying levels of social dysfunction. The show is much more sanitized than Degrassi, with a glossier look and a less sensationalized take on the problems of the day.

What makes the two shows interesting to me is that they take very different approaches to the subject of teenage problems.

Degrassi, being a Canadian TV show, is allowed to be a bit more scandalous in its content, so it tries to depict teen problems in a more realistic manner. The actors aren’t Hollywood glamorous, and most situations aren’t solved in 22 minutes. However, the show definitely errs on the side of shock value, as almost every episode is a very special episode. According to Degrassi, the life of a teenager is akin to walking through a minefield — you’ll be lucky if you make it out alive.

By contrast, Secret Life is the type of show your parents might watch with you, and then after it’s over, ask a bunch of probing questions about your personal life. In the world of Secret Life, talking with your parents is the key to remaining healthy and responsible. Even if you screw up somewhere along the way, your friends and family are there to help you.

So yeah, Secret Life sugarcoats it beyond belief. Most certainly, the show is nominally a family show because it’s more progressive, but it ultimately falls back on the “everything will be OK” trope. If Degrassi is pointlessly nihilist, then Secret Life is painfully optimistic.

Teenage issues, like sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll, are a multifaceted bunch, and most attempts to address them in a meaningful way fall pretty flat. Shows seem to either take an “Our children are in danger!” approach or a weird “just be good, and it’ll all work out” approach. Both shows I’ve mentioned do a pretty poor (though unintentionally hilarious) job of analyzing the life of the modern teenager, but they’re fascinating artifacts of how we look at the life of the modern teenager.

We’re a long way from the time of James Dean and Sandra Dee, but we still look toward entertainment to tell us what the kids are up to. And I’ll be watching intently.