This past year, I witnessed four of my close friends nurse broken hearts.

They followed the typical post-breakup ritual, lamenting the loss of lovers with a pint of mint-chocolate chip ice cream, bawling over Love Actually for the third or fourth straight time and swearing off men altogether.

As I made myself useful as a one-woman tissue dispenser, I was left wondering why society mandates the female species’ complete psychological breakdown following the latest deployment of “it’s not you, it’s me.”

I’ll be honest; I’m certainly guilty of this comfortable post-relationship trap. After two particularly crushing splits, I sobbed myself to sleep several nights in a row, skipped a few meals and even lost five pounds — a feat all too noticeable on my 4-foot-11-inch frame. In retrospect, my inner Gloria Steinem is clucking with disapproval.

I’ve since reconciled my past foolishness. But it troubled me — and still does — that one person could wield so much power over another.

Now, perhaps this collapse into despair is all just proper protocol, as perpetuated by the media. After all, it’s quite rare to see a man weep to his pals or treat himself to retail therapy. But the very moment women get dumped, they’re portrayed as weak, unable to sustain a normal existence sans a Mr. Right by their side.

This portrayal is what irks me the most. There’s something seriously wrong when women are made to feel that “singledom” is a punishment reserved for sinners in the 10th circle of hell. Possessing a significant other does not somehow validate your existence; you’re perfectly capable of being whole alone.

Once the final tear falls and the last carton of Häagen-Dazs has been polished off, women seem to seize a false independence.

“I’m done with guys,” a friend told me recently, following a breakup. “I hate men.”

Sure, those safe, familiar words have oft crossed my lips. My friend was definitely not alone in feeling spiteful. But it’s only a matter of time before the next guy bats a flirtatious eye, we return a coy smile and the cycle of heartache resumes.

Let’s face the biological facts: In college, when we’re at the height of our sexual prowess, no one should be renouncing the opposite sex — or same sex, if it so suits you.

I don’t mean to compromise anyone’s grief. Whether a relationship lasts three years or three days, breakups just hurt. But I think it’s high time we stop feeling sorry for ourselves.

Shed a tear, bake a cake, buy a cute new dress, do what you need to do. But ladies, please don’t overdo it. You’ve got to know when to turn off the waterworks.

Reach Features Editor Rachel Solomon at opinion@dailyuw.com.