Arriving at work Sunday morning, I found a message from our corporate office regarding protocol for the H1N1 flu — known to the general public as swine flu. I commend “the men upstairs” for being on top of current health issues and appreciate their concern for employee and customer health.

The flier pretty much suggested that we wash our hands, avoid coughing into each other’s faces and make sure not to wipe used tissues on commonly handled items and surfaces. While it also suggested that we not attend work if exhibiting a list of symptoms, the memo clearly forbade employees to come to work within three days of returning from trips to Mexico.

To be honest, most of the information I’ve heard regarding the H1N1 is more along the lines of hype than help. Supposedly, some politician wanted it called the “Mexican flu” because “swine flu” is offensive to the world’s Jewish population. To that end, Egypt has apparently killed every pig in the land — and, as of Sunday, has yet to report a single case of the flu. It’s apparently not offensive to suggest naming the disease after a country.

Meanwhile, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Washington state has nine confirmed H1N1 infections, though New York has 97, Texas 61 and California 67; how this reconciles against the Washington school closures we’re all hearing about, I have no idea.

What I do know is that swine flu — sorry, I mean H1N1 — is pretty much spread like every other flu. I might argue, though, that it’s pretty basic knowledge. Even buses have signs in them about appropriate hand washing, so I’m really not sure what difference a resurgence of hygiene propaganda will do. People are either aware that rubbing germy hands in their eyes and mouth causes disease — or they’re not. Either way, they’ve been provided with the information to prevent diseases.

I was thrilled today to receive a look of repulsed horror while on the stationary bike: My allergies have given me a slight cough and, fearful of the overbearing and harsh bike beeping and flashing when I release my hands from the heart-rate monitor, I coughed onto my shoulder, rather than into my elbow, as decency requires. The girl on the bike beside mine seemed to think I was coughing Ebola or SARS or H1N1 onto her. I’m fortunate that looks can’t kill.

This girl had no idea that I am a fully healthy person, and my breach of health etiquette appeared to deeply offend her, proving that at least some people know what it takes to remain healthy. However, I must wonder if that is really what we need to be concerned with.

Now, the following is a controversial suggestion, but bear with me: Perhaps this disparity between valued levels of health and hygiene is an example of Darwinism. Scientists say that when a population reaches numbers higher than can be sustained on available resources, a pandemic wipes out the surplus population, and the monotonous grind of life resumes as normal. This also acts to promote genetic strength, as the supposedly strongest members of a species are the ones that don’t die.

Given the discussion of overpopulation, I cannot be the first person to wonder if this H1N1 is perhaps Mother Nature telling humans that we’re too fertile. We can use as much Lysol and Purell as we want, but germs will always evade extinction.

That leaves us with a dilemma — start washing our hands, or take the chance of being one of the Homo sapiens that Darwin, Mother Nature or your favorite deity want to survive.

Reach columnist Matt Jackson at opinion@dailyuw.com.