CONNECTICUT — The Connecticut Police Academy has learned the important difference between literal meaning and idioms after a man bit his colleague when she told him to do just that.

Rochelle Wyler, a license and applications analyst, took offense when Capt. Francis Woodruff dismissively labeled her a clerk and reportedly said: “Bite me.”

The captain claims to have been joking around when he took Wyler up on her suggestion, leaving bruising and teeth marks on her arm.

He has been charged with disorderly conduct.

LANCASHIRE, England — Rescue crews saved an 11-year-old from a ride in a tumble dryer after the laundry-inspired adventure ended about as well as could have been expected.

Toby Sumner, who is 5 feet 2 inches tall, wanted to know whether or not he could fit in the drier, but after entering the machine, he was unable to dislodge himself.

Stuck with his head and arms sticking out of the machine, Sumner began to panic. When his grandfather was unable to dismantle the dryer, his family called the fire department.

Sumner suffered bruising to his legs and reports that he will not attempt the feat again.

LAKEWOOD, Wash. — Police arrested a couple engaged in an activity that involved throwing rocks at traffic and taking off clothing.

Joshua Sizemore, 23, and Amanda Madison, 18, were playing a game called “Sex Me.”

While the rules and objectives are unclear, the game apparently requires its participants to throw baseball-sized rocks from a railway trestle at vehicles on the interstate below, while taking off items of clothing in correspondence with the number of burnt-out headlights recorded by the players. It is unclear what the throwing of rocks contributes to the game.

Only one man was injured during the “Sex Me” debacle, with bruising to the arm after a rock broke his window.

Fourteen vehicles were hit, and the couple is facing 14 counts of second-degree assault.

JAPAN — Researchers at the Japanese Central Institute for Experimental Animals have produced what may be the most valuable test animals yet in the study of human diseases.

Five marmosets have been bred with a transgenic ability to glow in the dark, the newest of a line of glowing animals that include dogs, fish and pigs.

Using a virus to modify eggs to include a green protein that glows under special microscopes, the marmosets are the first transgenic monkeys to fully pass their glowing genes on to offspring.

Scientists say that the monkeys provide a valuable bridge from glowing mice to human disease, although there are ethical concerns about creating colonies of genetically modified (GM) monkeys.

Scientist Dr. Gerald Schatten of Pittsburgh University urges that although the future of GM primates is promising, scientists need to engage with the public in order to establish an informed debate of bioethics.

Reach columnist Matt Jackson at news@dailyuw.com.