PUTIAN, CHINA — A man underwent surgery to remove scissors from his esophagus earlier this week.

Kong Lin, 27, was using nail scissors to pick his teeth clean after dinner, when an unexpected joke made him laugh and swallow the four-inch clippers.

Attempting to cough them out, Kong lodged them deeper into his throat as they cut their way into his flesh.

Kong was taken to a hospital and put under local anesthesia to have them removed.

NIGERIA — A man claiming to be 114 years old had 6.5 tons of marijuana confiscated from him Tuesday.

Nigeria’s National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA) reported that it found 254 sacks of cannabis in the home of Sulaiman Adebayo just north of the commercial capitol Lagos.

The NDLEA chairman made a statement that this case indicates a large-scale growing effort beyond Adebayo’s involvement. Large-scale illegal marijuana farms in Nigeria smuggle goods across the border into neighboring countries.

Adebayo, who claims to have attended the inauguration of a famous hall in Abeokuta in 1895, stated that he thought the bags contained rice.

There has been no official confirmation of Adebayo’s age.

GERMANY — Children watching a youth-oriented cooking show received a jarring shock as the host electrocuted rabbits before slitting their throats and skinning them for food preparation.

The TV show Sarah and the Kitchen Children, hosted by Sarah Wiener, was using rabbits in honor of the approaching Easter holiday, but some of the 12- to 15-year-olds on the show began to cry as the rabbits were stunned with electricity before being butchered.

Wiener, believing that children should know from where their food comes, had the children help her skin the rabbits.

TEXAS — A Texas justice of the peace has been reprimanded for giving parents the option to either pay fines for school-dodging children, or spank their children.

The choice to either engage in corporal punishment or pay a $500 fine led the state commissioner on judicial conduct to rebuke Gustavo Garza for violations of judicial conduct, and providing a “safe haven” for child abuse.

This warning was not accompanied by any type of reprimand, though Garza could face repercussions should he continue.

Garza made a statement that the positive results of reducing school truancy outweigh the damages inflicted by spanking the offending children.

VENEZUELA — Miss Universe has proclaimed Guantanamo Bay to be “a lot of fun,” and “a relaxing, calm, beautiful place.”

Dayana Mendoza, of Venezuela, went on a recent visit to the prison camp and blogged about her “incredible experience” of rides around the razor-wire and minefield-surrounded camp.

Also commenting on the “unbelievable” beaches, the reigning Miss Universe said she didn’t want to leave the camp.

FLORIDA — A sick turtle took himself to a hospital for injured reptiles recently.

The 77-pound loggerhead sea turtle swam to the Florida Keys-based Turtle Hospital, where it was noticed by staff member Ryan Butts.

The endangered turtle had a bacterial infection, was underweight and very weak.

Staff cited this as the first time a sea turtle has come directly to the hospital’s doorstep for admittance.

NORWAY — A Norwegian church baptized a baby with lemon-flavored cola Tuesday.

Freezing temperatures caused the church to turn off the water, so Priest Paal Dale improvised by using flat lemon cola.

Intending not to inform the parents of the switch, Dale was obligated to do so after the parents noticed the lingering lemon scent.

It was not reported whether or not the family was upset by the unconventional christening.

Reach columnist Matt Jackson at news@dailyuw.com.