The economy. The job market. Getting married. Getting unmarried. Dissertation. Thesis. Family drama. Rent. Loneliness. Sickness. Sadness. Fear of the future.

Graduate school is trial by fire. We are expected to keep an A-minus average. We are expected to come to seminar prepared to discuss 600 pages of reading, often in our second or third language. We are expected to find funding and publish articles. We are expected to do all of this while acting as role models to the undergraduate sections we TA. It is no wonder that sometimes, under all that pressure, we start to crack.

You see it in the grad student lounges. Nail-biting, hair twirling, never-ending colds, people who don’t eat, people who eat too much and occasionally, people who just cannot stop crying. Graduate students are being swallowed by the life of the mind, and for many of us, it is difficult to ask for help. For those who do reach out to the services at Hall Health or Schmitz Hall, sometimes what is available on a graduate-student budget simply isn’t enough to fend off an incoming breakdown. As they suffer long waits for appointments, some would-be patients lose their nerve or ultimately choose not to allocate their meager stipends to the chance of mental rehabilitation.

The search for funding, feelings of isolation in a new city and a sense of academic stagnation led social science masters student Alice* to call the counseling center in Schmitz Hall and make an appointment.

“I was nervous because I had a single hour to explain my life and the different problems that brought me to counseling in the first place,” Alice said in describing her first meeting. Alice received counseling during her undergraduate years, which helped in some ways to prepare her for the interview. “I felt insecure and awkward about discussing my problems so frankly, but the counselor was very professional, for which I was extremely grateful.”

The counseling center is understaffed, in part as a result of Gov. Chris Gregoire’s decision to veto a bill allowing the UW to hire an additional counselor last year. Despite the center’s limitations, however, employees continue to serve the student population, sometimes by suggesting options to circumvent the center’s long waits for appointments or ease the financial burden on patients.

“My counselor [at Schmitz] recommended I go to Hall Health for counseling because it takes graduate appointee insurance, and it also offers longer-term counseling for people who feel they need it,” said Alice. “There are also cheap counseling services she recommended in Argosy University and Antioch University if I run into a lack of funds.”

For others, the hidden costs surrounding therapy prove the real burden in seeking help.

“Student insurance will not cover any pre-existing condition during the first three months of coverage. … That means if you are not enrolled over the summer, then there is no coverage for medications during the fall term, even if you were enrolled in the spring,” explained Charity*, who is currently completing her final year of graduate school. “Going without medication is a terrible option, especially since most depression medication takes time to build up in your system.”

Finances also limit which mental health care options a student can participate in.

“My doctor wanted me to participate in group therapy; it sounded terrific, but because insurance did not cover the entire cost, I had to pass on it,” she lamented. Her coverage has shifted between regular graduate student insurance and TA and RA insurance depending on the quarter.

Though Charity is graduating this quarter, she worries about the effect cutbacks will have on student health and people like Alice.

“I think that cuts in mental health will have a very bad result,” she said. “Graduate school is extremely stressful. It takes a huge toll on students mentally, some more than others. It just seems foolish not to provide for mental health care. However, there is a stigma about mental health issues, and I believe illnesses like depression, bipolar disorder, etc. are not always taken as seriously.”

I have to agree. Graduate students are the intellectual varsity of the UW. We push ourselves and sacrifice all to our research, to the pursuit of answers, to the examination of questions and to our drive for innovation and excellence. If we were on the football team fighting this hard for the school, our injuries would be covered, but when we break our brains in the intellectual arena, help can be hard to come by.

The pressures of graduate school are challenging enough that most of us cannot afford to slip due to illness. Whether it’s mono or depression, nobody wants to be compromised as they navigate the academic labyrinth.

“When I had trouble because insurance would not cover my fall quarter medications, it was extremely stressful. It did affect my work,” Charity said. “If your brain is not healthy, it’s hard to get things done. It’s difficult even getting out of bed, which is frustrating when you are normally excited about your work.”

That is not to say Charity doesn’t appreciate what the school offers and hasn’t benefitted from it.

“I’m grateful that the counseling center exists. Despite financial limitations, it has been of great help to my work and definitely helped me to finish school,” she said.

Keep this in mind the next time you argue with your TA over a paper grade. She or he might be even more on edge than you are.

Reach columnist Elizabeth Brady at features@dailyuw.com.

*Names have been changed to protect the privacy of those quoted.