MARYLAND — Power saws and sex toys have been proven unsafe for simultaneous use after a couple attempted to expand the variety of their sexual experiences.

Attaching the plastic toy to the power saw, the Maryland couple’s homemade device failed as the saw cut through the toy and wounded the 27-year-old woman.

Her partner called emergency services, and she was airlifted to the hospital. She has been released and is now recovering at home.

Investigators determined that the injuries were sustained in a consensual act and that no crime was committed.

TOKYO, Japan — In an effort to raise its international profile, three young women have been appointed as cultural envoys for the city of Tokyo. These “cute ambassadors” are intended to represent Japan’s long-held fascination with cuteness.

The three young women were chosen because their habitual style of dress represents different aspects of the “kawaii” (cute) culture. One dresses as a schoolgirl, another as a Victorian doll and the third in a polka-dot shirt with a bunny print. All three are inspired by anime and manga.

Japan sees this as a way to exploit the kawaii culture, which has already become influential in Asia and Europe.

The effort is to create a global mutual understanding, while showing the world that people like the ambassadors exist everywhere.

NEWQUAY, England — A rescuer attempting to save a seagull’s life ended up needing rescuing when she got stuck in mud.

The seagull was stuck in the mud of a dredged lake, so the zookeeper from the Newquay Zoo waded in to save it. However, she got so mired in the mud that it took 12 firefighters and paramedics to rescue her.

The seagull was retrieved from the mud but, as both of its legs were broken, had to be euthanized.

GLOUCESTERSHIRE, England — A self-employed builder grew so tired of his wife’s constant nagging that he put her up for sale.

The couple has been together for six years, and have been married for one year.

Gary Bates, 38, ran an ad that read: “Nagging Wife. No Tax, No MOT. Very high maintenance — some rust.”

Bates received nine or 10 offers to remove Donna, 40, from her current marital situation.

Donna Bates doesn’t admit to nagging, clarifying that she instead works to get him to do things she wants him to do.

She also made a statement that she is planning revenge and predicts that it will be sweet.

CHINA — In an effort to prevent drivers from falling asleep at the wheel, police in the Chongqing region of China have begun providing motorists with raw chili peppers.

According to Chinese superstition, spring is when people are at their sleepiest, so highway service stations are now equipped with peppers. Many feel that ingesting them makes drivers more alert.

China’s roadways are among the most dangerous in the world due to overloaded vehicles, speeding trucks, drivers ignoring traffic signs and drivers frequently failing to use turn signals.

Reach columnist Matt Jackson at news@dailyuw.com.