As high school comes to a close, the capstone event for many students is the senior prom. Who you take, whether or not you go at all and what you wear are loaded questions. For some, prom night is a lens through which the entire high school experience may be viewed.

In graduate school there is no prom night, but students face a similarly daunting task. In this enterprise, fear of rejection is high and trepidation about who to work with is higher still. Just as some people agonized over their prom dates in high school, so too do graduate students face great stress about the creation of their thesis committee.

In the final year of most master’s programs, graduate students are required to select a set of two to three faculty advisors to serve as a committee. This group of professors is charged with conducting a review of the student’s work and is responsible for determining whether or not the student has earned his or her credentials as a “master” of their subject matter. The committee, and particularly its chair, serve as the student’s mentors and guide him or her through months of thesis writing (or similar project) and research to improve the student’s chances of passing their thesis review. Not everyone passes, and many students go through multiple rewrites before their committee considers their work satisfactory.

Much like the sweaty-palmed preparations that led to asking, or being asked by, a special someone to prom, the committee selection process is an ordeal that can involve a great deal of heartbreak and frustration. Because faculty members are extremely busy teaching classes and producing their own books and research, many faculty limit the number of students upon whose committee they will sit. This can make committee selection a minefield of rejection.

Just like in high school, putting together a committee is easy for some. The narrative of the events share similar rhythms. Student meets faculty member. They work together and share research interests. Instead of wearing the advisor’s varsity jacket to signify the casual commitment between them, the graduate student may display a first-name-basis relationship with their committee chair or be seen reading every book the professor has written. Reminiscent of the “it” couple in high school, that student’s committee selection appears a foregone conclusion.

Sometimes this dream shatters. One friend spent four years of her graduate education working with a particular professor. She modeled her working method and style upon the faculty member and took nearly every class she taught. She asked the professor to be her advisor and chair her committee and she said yes but then their academic romance began to suffer. The professor sent confusing e-mails asking who would be chairing the student’s committee, gradually pulling back from any acknowledgement of their arrangement.

“I feel like a guy whose girlfriend tells him what color her dress is so he can buy the corsage,” said my friend. “The guy who rents a tuxedo with a matching cummerbund and a shiny stretch limousine because she drops hints that this is what she wants. I feel as if we’d been dating since freshman year, but when I ask her to the prom, my girlfriend says casually that she will be going with someone better looking with a nicer car.”

In high school, many of us graduate students were late bloomers. By the time we realized we should find dates to the prom, it was late in the school year. So too do many graduate students find themselves at a loss at the end of their first quarter of their final year of coursework. In such a scenario, panic sets in. Because many of us have delayed picking a topic — the equivalent of purchasing one’s prom dress — we have no idea who to ask or how to do so.

We stumble about, hoping someone will notice our potential, our “all thatness,” and ask us to the big dance. For some, this is the case: there are always faculty members who are attuned to their students and who provide gentle reminders about committee selection. Many of the most student-friendly professors therefore take on the majority of advisees. The student asks them because they are known entities that are knowledgeable, safe and friendly. This is the “let’s go as friends” version of committee selection.

The “just friends” approach offers the student an additional edge if they are behind in topic selection. Often he or she will focus their research to suit the experience of their advisors, much in the way that a boy might chose his tuxedo to complement the dress of his date.

It is now the middle of second quarter, and students who have not yet found their “prom dates” or committees are up against a deadline that has technically past. For those with a committee, congratulations are in order. For those without, it bears reminding that unlike the prom, you cannot go stag or in a group, and you cannot stay home without delaying the inevitable till a later quarter. If you are in this committee-free category, I recommend that you stop worrying about finding a valentine for next week and start putting your committee together today.

Reach columnist Elizabeth Brady at features@dailyuw.com.