Some 100 years ago, those selecting the UW’s motto failed to study their Wheelock’s Latin before they settled on “Lux Sit” — a deviation from “Lux Fiat” (let there be light). Interestingly, “sit” is more of a transitive form of “to be” and therefore translates into something closer to “let light be,” as in “let light be halogen, florescent, etc.”

The UW’s motto is an incomplete sentence. Oops.

In early 2003, a young ASUW Senator Greg Albert, celebrating the non-bindingness of the least binding legislature in Washington, introduced an ASUW resolution to change the spelling of “dawg” back to “dog.”

In a stroke of syllogistic genius, the resolution noted, “WHEREAS the spelling ‘dawg’ is an effort to be cool and; WHEREAS any effort to be cool is uncool by definition …” The good senator’s efforts were frustrated, however, when a well-meaning colleague attached an addendum declaring that Miller High Life really was the champagne of beers. The senate floor erupted. The anti-High Life lobby shook their fists. Papers were crumpled. Pulpits were pounded. The ASUW president issued a non-binding order to march non-binding troops in to quell the unboundedness.

Last Tuesday, the ASUW voted to encourage the “freedom of thought” by telling you precisely what to think. During a regular ASUW Senate session, the body passed Resolution 16-2 to adopt the “Husky Creed,” a set of six affirmative, but pointless, statements that attempt to define what it means to be a Husky.

Like the 2003 resolution, R-16-2 is meaningless. Like the school motto, its meaninglessness is unintentional. Within its luminary wisdom are such profound statements as “I will … engage in critical thinking and discovery.”

Whew. Way to quell the chaos. Now, the math department can solve theorems, and the philosophy department can resume its search for epistemic justification. One hundred fifty years of UW alumni can breathe easy knowing that the 2009 Senate passed a resolution telling them what it means to be a Husky.

For nine years I have attended this school without guidance on whether I should think critically. Now the hand-raisers of the ASUW have told us “how we should behave” (that comes straight from the text). No more walking in the “out” doors. No more wearing the wrong school’s shirts at football games. We have a creed now.

Of course, we could use some clarification on certain points. For instance, how do I “protect freedom of thought and expression?”

Has this been a big issue?

I know it sounds good, but what does it mean?

I would prefer that students not protect freedom of expression if they don’t feel like it.

Also, must every Husky actually “improve our university community, Northwest region and world,” or is it just the thought that counts? What if I have a net-neutral effect on the world? By reverse implication, that makes me a non-Husky, right? What if I think that there should be no creed at all? That definitely makes me a non-Husky.

Oh, this hurts my head. Please, ASUW, do my thinking for me.

The creed must still be vetted by a few student bodies before it becomes officially non-binding. You can view R-16-2 on the ASUW Web site and think about it for yourself.

Reach contributing columnist Greg Albert at opinion@dailyuw.com.