Hungary — A favorite entrant in the Miss Plastic beauty pageant, Alexandra Horvath was forced to withdraw from the contest after her synthetic breasts caused her to fall over and tear a ligament.

The beauty contest, which takes place in Hungary, a country where inexpensive cosmetic surgery draws thousands of patients annually, is a protest against conventional beauty contests that bar contestants who have had elective cosmetic surgery.

Horvath had recently undergone the augmentation procedure, and the combination of her 3-inch heels, the shift in her center of balance, and a mishap with hair extensions caused the tumble from the catwalk.

Gaza — After dying of starvation, Marah Land Zoo’s zebras have been replaced with donkeys painted to resemble their striped relatives.

During the Israel-Hamas war, the zoo’s two real zebras died of neglect, and the high cost of actual zebras prohibited the zoo from acquiring replacements. Unfortunately, the zoo, with an aging tiger, two monkeys, and a variety of cats, birds and rabbits, relied on the popularity of the zebras to draw crowds.

Using French hair dye, professional painters colored a pair of donkeys to look like zebras, completing the dilapidated zoo’s collection.

Dorset — Divers blew up a lobster off the coast of Swanage, Dorset, when it refused to abandon its residence, an unexploded mine.

The divers discovered the 600-pound explosive, a remnant from World War II, before calling a bomb squad in to persuade the crustacean to come out of the bomb, but without success. After the lobster, called Lionel, gave one of the divers a significant cut, the bomb-disposal unit decided to commence with their job regardless of the lobster.

A coast-guard spokesman said that a moment of silence was held for Lionel, as “he was no doubt blown to smithereens.”

Calif. — An intoxicated couple avoided driving under the influence by making a 13-year-old drive them home.

After dining at a restaurant, 32-year-old Heather Choulos and her boyfriend were too drunken to drive, so they had Choulos’ son drive instead. Officers discovered the underage driver after the vehicle was stalled on a major highway; the boy said he was “freaked out” and refused to drive any further.

Choulos was charged with child endangerment and contributing to the delinquency of a minor; her boyfriend was not charged.

Reach columnist Matthew Jackson at

news@dailyuw.com.