I haven’t done many things right in my life. Looking back, I can’t say I’ve ever actually finished something I started, and even if I try, I usually screw things up at the last minute. I’ve hurt everyone I have ever cared for, and many more that I didn’t get the chance to know. As graduation approaches, all of us seniors take some time to reflect on how we got here.

Even those who seemed to do everything right along the way have had some kind of obstacle to overcome, and usually there was someone there to hoist them up, allowing them to continue. Reflecting on the past 26 years of my life, there is only one reason I am graduating, and today is her birthday.

She stood by me when I wasn’t doing anything worth standing beside. As I struggled in my early 20s to find what I should make of myself, she walked with me down every dark alley and dead end, never making an issue of the point that I was a blind man trying to choose my own direction.

High school didn’t go well for me, and I never believed that I could attend a school like the UW, much less graduate from it. No matter how much my family and friends encouraged me, I could never believe in myself. But she did. The most beautiful, kind-hearted and incredibly sweet person on the face of the earth really believed in me, and that gave me all I needed to see something of value in myself.

There were too many times when I chose to study for hours, leaving her to wait patiently until I finished. Each time, she did so with a smile, pushing me to persevere when things got hard and consoling me when I dropped the ball. It was she who inspired me to find what I love. And it was she who gave me the courage to let other people read what I write. At the risk of sounding cliché, I couldn’t have done any of this without her.

There’s something about the way she laughs from the heart when I crack a joke that nobody else finds funny. Or the genuine smile that pierces her lips as I tell her trivial things about my day that matter to me. She has always been able to convince me that I’m being too hard on myself around exam time, without ever sounding condescending.

It’s amazing that the satisfaction I feel when I earn an “A” pales in comparison to the joy I experience when she rests her head on my shoulder. She can make my heart melt just by touching my hand, and any fears or doubts I may have vanish when she looks at me with her dazzling green eyes. You could take my job, my health and everything I ever placed value in away, but if she still loved me, I would have all I could ever want. When I’m with her, my world is right.

It can’t have been easy to live with me for the past seven years. I don’t really see how it could have been enjoyable. As I said, I tend to screw everything up and hurt those closest to me. But perhaps the most valuable thing she has given me is a desire to change that. She doesn’t have to point out my shortcomings for me to see them any more than a professional athlete would to a team of 14-year-old wannabes. All she has to do is be herself. Sitting beside her on the couch, I realize I’m not half the man I should be. But she makes me want to be.

Happy birthday, Tami.