Dressing to get laid doesn’t mean “dress like you’re desperately desperate.” That’s a Halloween costume. Instead, use this Valentine’s Day to dress to get sex, but in a way that focuses attention on you — not just your sex bits.

Women:

Exuding sensuality is all about feeling hot. Even Katherine Heigl told askmen.com that she won’t look amazing if she feels awkward and uncomfortable. Radiant women believe in themselves. It sounds corny, yes, but when it comes down to it, it’s confidence that delivers an A-game performance.

There are key things to consider when dressing to get naked. First and foremost, wear fabrics that feel beautiful. Think about soft, silky, draping materials and textures like velvet, lace and raw silk. Contrast these against one another to make the initial intimate steps sensual and sensuous. Lovers just want to touch you — encourage exploration by making all of you tangibly amazing.

I hate to suggest suffering for fashion, but forget that it’s actually still winter. If you want to be naked, why wear a lot to begin with?

Try incorporating a few dramatically different feels, accenting with mid-ground textures.

Start with a lace and satin bra and matching panties, a lace garter belt and thigh-high stockings, which can be almost coarse in the case of fishnets, or velvety like nylons.

Cover this with a silk slip and finish with a stunning cocktail dress. Look for dresses featuring beading, gathering, and light, airy fabrics or two different materials. The slip should be appropriate for the dress, but make sure it looks great with the underwear.

Color makes things fun, but keep bright tones to the dress — the slip, bra and panties are sexiest in black, white or red.

This is also the time to break out the killer heels — there’s a reason we have so many acronyms for shoes that demand sex. Anything sleek, strappy or stiletto is hot.

Be judicious with accessories — it’s coming off, right? Metallic jewelry, especially bracelets and necklaces, have great sensual opportunities. Don’t go over the top — the moment is ruined if a lover gets tangled in your earrings while playing with your hair.

Now for the practical advice: Don’t wear anything too challenging to take off, don’t wear anything that has a hard time staying on, and don’t spend hours on your hair.

Think about how your sexy dressing will pay off; there are few things more erotic than being slowly undressed by another. Make this the best it can be by wearing easily removable clothes that require focus from your partner. In other words, shoot for “time-consuming.” Look for buttons, a lace-up back, hook-and-eye clasps or zippers. If a dress takes effort and concentration, or needs to be pulled over the head, things can get stressful and confusing, unless you like having a dress literally torn off your body.

Sexy up-dos are wonderful. Use chopsticks or a decorative clip to make a loose bun. If an up-do can cascade down with the removal of one hair accessory, you’ve nailed it.

For girls who like to excuse themselves to don lingerie before sex, try wearing it under clothes — it’s unexpected, and thus, even hotter.

Try making simple clothing sexy by wearing it in unique ways. A men’s dress shirt, slightly large, can be worn unbuttoned with the fronts crossed around back and tied, or simply wrap it around and tuck into wide-legged pants. If you don’t like corsets and garter belts, try boy-cut briefs. These are really cute, and give you a girl-next-door sexiness.

To keep the sexy alive during more casual times, check out fun, colorful patterns and unique styles for your daily underwear. A girl in boxer-shorts has a certain thing going for her that not even a garter belt can argue with.

Men:

There’s a lot less to think about — but don’t make the mistake of leaving sensuality entirely to the girls.

One of the best things a guy can do to get action is find a great pair of jeans. The perfect jeans minimize the bulk of your legs by fitting narrow, sitting low on the waist and making the most of your assets by comfortably contouring them, front and back. The best washes are vintage medium to dark indigos, with light fading on the thighs. A perfect fit of jeans can make the whole body look toned and well proportioned.

Look sharp by wearing jeans with slim black loafers and a worn-in black leather belt with a brushed silver buckle.

There are many options for shirts. Solid colored dress shirts in crisp cotton are great, but so are graphic tees and high quality black or white athletic-fit tees. Try a v-neck instead of the standard crew.

This is where color points can be scored: The pink dress shirt is perfect for this, as is any pastel or vibrant color non-native to your typical clothes.

A slim-fit blazer looks great with jeans and any shirt. For diversity, try a vest. Not the sweater variety, but a nice, fitted one in gray or navy. This looks great with a fedora-style hat and several light-weight, longer necklaces.

Where guys really get sexy points is in their underwear choice. If you’ve made it this far, don’t sabotage yourself with boring striped boxers or tighty-whities. Do you know how much your girlfriend spends on her bras and sexy underwear? Invest in some great briefs. Black is a good choice, but look for any low-rise style with less coverage than your typical pair. I don’t condone crazy male lingerie; instead, check out 2(x)ist, Calvin Klein, C-IN2 and Diesel. A well-cut pair of briefs is essential. The support they offer gives a great silhouette in jeans; the best are insanely comfortable; and once the pants are off, they contour and enhance all of your macho parts.

Basically, look like you’ve put as much thought into your undergarments as she has.

Obviously, people don’t live exclusively in exciting briefs; be confident knowing you’ll always look good taking pants off by always wearing low-rise, black underwear. Whether boxer briefs or briefs, there is something to be said for the gentleman who wears more than boxers.

That being said, sometimes novelty boxers really are fun and sexy. Get a pair with robots or your favorite Saturday morning cartoon. Boxers will always be sexy because they add mystery; briefs leave little to the imagination.

Now that you’re getting sex, think about how your clothes are coming off. Buttons are sexy: It’s amazing to lie on your back as your dress shirt, belt buckle and fly are being undone. A button fly is unexpected and just challenging enough to make jeans really sexy.

The trend in men’s hair is a throwback to the classics; while I still love the faux-hawk, try using minimal product, favoring mousse and flexible pomades that leave your hair soft, silky and inviting. Gel kills the opportunity to experience the bliss of a girl playing with your hair. While I’m on this note, invite hair play by growing it out a little more and keeping it shiny and healthy. You won’t miss the gel.