Islam

You may find it hard to believe, but Muslims do have sex. Not only do they have sex, but Muslims have guidelines about it: providing limits and advice so that our actions please God.

The topic of sex is always “interesting,” to say the least. I, for one, can’t say the word without tittering like a third grader. But I’ll do my best to present a mature discourse on sex. Any mistakes are my own, and any benefits are thanks to God.

When you think of Islam, what often comes to mind is the stereotypical image of a woman in a headscarf (or in some people’s case, suicide bombers; but that’s a different topic). Islam sets a high standard of modesty for men and women, so we both try to dress conservatively. But modesty and conservativeness don’t translate to prudishness.

In the proper context, sex is a natural expression and not a dirty thing to abstain from. In fact, celibacy is frowned upon in Islam, based on the hadith (the collected sayings of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon Him). But what’s the proper context?

For Muslims, sex is only acceptable within the framework of marriage. Extramarital sex, such as fornication and adultery, is called zinah in Arabic and is considered one of the greatest sins. It should be avoided at all costs, but humans can err. Nevertheless, God is al-Rahman al-Raheem, the All-Beneficent and the Most-Merciful, and it’s in God’s power to forgive.

Marriage in Islam is an important social institution. Muslims are encouraged to marry if they can support a family. Several narrators of the hadith mention that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon Him) said, “Marriage is half of faith.”

Because of marriage’s importance, there are numerous constructs to ensure a happy and functioning family. Partners in a marriage, from an Islamic perspective, are afforded unalienable rights and duties ranging from financial stability, child rearing and support, to attention and devotion.

Since a healthy sexual relationship is often necessary for a healthy marriage, Islam even provides guidance for the bedroom (or wherever you choose to partake).

In both the Quran and hadith, the sexual gratification of both parties is stressed in numerous places.

Heck, even the importance of foreplay is mentioned in this saying of the Prophet (Peace be upon Him): “’Not one of you should fall upon his wife like an animal; but let there first be a messenger between you.’ ‘And what is that messenger?’ they asked, and he replied: ‘Kisses and words’” (al-Daylami).

There aren’t many limits on what a Muslim couple can do together. The only explicitly forbidden practice is anal sex.

But provided both people end up sexually fulfilled, then pretty much anything goes as long as their actions aren’t harmful or unhealthy.

It’s probably strange to think of a religion dictating guidelines for sex, but Islam provides a moral outlook for all aspects of life.

Since marriage is an important part of our religion, and sex is an important part of marriage, it makes sense.

[Reach columnist Zakariya Dehlawi at opinion@thedaily.washington.edu.]

Christianity

God loves sex.

If I made it, I’d think it was pretty neat, too.

Now, many argue for abstinence before marriage with statistics, such as the statistic that happily married couples have better and more frequent sex. While this may be true, Christians don’t resist temptation because it will hurt them in the end. Rather, it truly is the deep desire of their hearts.

Back to the God loves sex part. The book of the Bible titled “Song of Solomon” is basically about falling in love and, well, lovemaking.

A favorite verse is 4:11. King Solomon writes, “Your lips drip nectar my bride; honey and milk are under your tongue.”

I don’t think the French invented French kissing. This is just the beginning of Solomon’s vivid language.

God created sex to be enjoyed. It’s why women are multi-orgasmic. It’s not just about procreation; it’s about building intimacy between two people in a healthy, committed relationship (see 1 Corinthians 7:1-5).

However, God hates sexual sin. That is, sexual acts outside of heterosexual marriage. This includes fornication, adultery, pornography, lust, orgies and oral sex; the list doesn’t really stop (see Colossians 3:5-8). In fact, He hates it when people even entertain thoughts about sex outside of marriage.

I don’t think there is a human being over the age of 11 that hasn’t at least thought about sex. It’s not even possible. So does this mean that God hates everyone?

The answer in scripture is pretty clear: God’s unending, insurmountable grace and forgiveness. God doesn’t hate you, or anyone, for that matter. The whole point of Jesus is offering forgiveness out of love. We don’t earn forgiveness by abstaining from sin, and it’s not something we lose when we sin. It’s unconditional and complete.

Christian couples don’t choose to remain abstinent before marriage because of reason or fear. When we become Christians, God gives us new hearts with new desires. And although our old nature continues to work against our new hearts, we ultimately want to obey our new hearts.

So although not easy, my decision to remain abstinent until marriage is what I want, not something I feel pressured or brainwashed into.

Scripture speaks against sexual sin so intensely because its core is idolatry, meaning the worship of idols. The first two of the Ten Commandments God gives states that He is the only God and that no one should make idols.

Americans idolize and worship sex.

The total world industry for pornography is about $57 billion. The United States makes up about $12 billion of that. Porn makes up about a quarter of all Internet searches and 12 percent of all Web sites. I could go on.

The numbers don’t speak of a sexually free America; they speak to our sexual enslavement.

Christians view sexual purity as freedom, which is why they push for abstinence programs in schools. However in their fervor, many Christians have wrongfully judged non-Christians for sexual sin.

There is no freedom apart from Christ. So when approaching non-Christians, my thought is this: Why should I judge them for sexual sin when I have so much to repent from.

[Reach columnist Celeste Flint at opinion@thedaily.washington.edu.]

Judaism

About two weeks ago, in The Daily, I read an opinion about sex. The author was responding to someone calling into question her self-respect after she said, “Matthew McConaughey can have me anytime.” The numerous conversations my friends and I have had regarding men involve a much different dynamic. The question is never “Will I have sex with him?” but rather, “Does he have the qualities of a good husband or father? Does he have the same values that I do? And most importantly, is he someone I could spend the rest of my life with?” But this is a digression about the vulgarity of meaningless sex.

In Judaism, we believe that the Torah is more than merely a history book: It’s a blueprint on how to conduct one’s life. As with all physical pleasures — eating, drinking and materialism, for example — sex is permitted. Judaism does not by any means idealize celibacy. Not only is sex permitted, it’s considered holy because it’s an expression of a couple’s deeper spiritual bond.

In Judaism, sex is reserved as an act between a husband and a wife. Even within the boundaries of marriage, the laws of sex are set up to keep the marriage healthy. These laws are known as Taharat Hamishpacha, or family purity. Without going into too much detail, Jewish couples practice complete physical separation every month during the time of the wife’s cycle and seven days after. To an outsider, this may seem absurd and restrictive. But as those who practice this know, the regulations are not a burden or a hindrance in life, but rather a framework that makes sense on many levels.

From a purely medical perspective, observing Taharat Hamishpacha can be beneficial. Generally, a woman is mildly acidic, and therefore antiseptic. But during the time of her period she is alkaline, and it takes approximately seven days to regain a normal pH. Thus, during this time, a woman lacks natural protection, and the possibility of infection rises.

Furthermore, at this time, the uterine lining has been shed, leaving it susceptible to the entrance of germs. It takes seven days for the lining to become strong again, and relations during this time may prove to be harmful.

Finally, a number of medical studies of the incidence of cervical cancer show that it can occur as much as 20 times more frequently among women who don’t practice Taharat Hamishpacha.

On an emotional level, these laws still make sense. Many psychologists and marriage counselors see the wisdom in the Torah that abstinence makes the heart grow fonder. Following the rules allows couples to devote more time to other forms of interpersonal communication. It’s easy to forget that listening attentively to one another or simply sharing each other’s company can strengthen the bond between husband and wife.

During the time of a woman’s cycle, she may naturally want to shy away from physical contact. This can be attributed to many factors — physical discomfort, hormonal change, or simple moodiness may cause her to want to be alone. A husband may regard his wife’s desire for privacy as something personal. The Torah is sensitive to the feelings of both the man and the woman. A man who observes Taharat Hamishpacha won’t view his wife’s behavior as disinterest and the wife is guaranteed privacy, all while maintaining peace and harmony within the home.

One of the seven blessings recited in a Jewish wedding ceremony wishes the couple “gladness, jubilation, joy and delight; love, friendship, harmony and fellowship.” As Maharal of Prague explained, the first clause applies when the couple is not in a separate state and the second applies to the state of separateness. The Torah gives us a guide to sex and a happy marriage. Keeping the rules of Taharat Hamishpacha can endow the marriage with all possible forms of happiness.

[Reach columnist Natalie Sikavi at opinion@thedaily.washington.edu.]