Berlin, Germany — The Berlin Zoo is deciding whether or not to evict one of its residents.

Knut, a polar bear, was a leading attraction to the zoo a few years ago when he was a white cub — now fully grown and brown, he no longer draws crowds.

Though he brought the zoo about 5 million euros, it is suspected the large crowds were a contributing factor in the death of a panda.

Since then, Knut has been dubbed a “psychopath” by one of the zoologists, and his long-time keeper passed away this September.

The Berlin Zoo is getting rid of Knut because he will need a larger habitat and a mate since he has reached maturity. The zoo predicts this will cost about 9 million euros, an expense far beyond their available funds.

Other zoos in Europe are offering to give Knut a good home.

Berlin, Germany — Anne Catherine Becker-Echivard has discovered an interesting means of communicating thoughts: fish heads.

Since the age of 11, Becker-Echivard has been using mackerel and sardines to express her opinions of the world. With her mother, she constructs costumes, a process that can take up to three months.

Once the costumes are finished, she constructs panoramas, sewing the heads of the fish on the costumed bodies.

She says the fish can be a silly way to express a variety of emotions.

Nevada — A woman has been arrested after being pulled over for driving with six feet of fuel hose dangling from her Subaru wagon, like the scene in Garden State.

An ambulance driver spotted the woman at 4:30 a.m. and tried to get her attention before finally pulling her over. When police arrived, she failed a sobriety test and was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence.

It is still unknown which gas station her pump came from.

San Antonio — A man has been ordered to go under psychiatric evaluation after ramming a woman’s vehicle with his truck at more than 100 mph. He claimed this was done under direction from God.

The Bexar County Sheriff’s Office spokesperson reported that the driver said God told him the woman wasn’t driving correctly. It is still unclear what was wrong with her driving, but officers agree this accident should have been fatal.

Both drivers sustained only minor injuries.

Lapland New Forest, England — Enraged parents attacked Santa and his elf helpers at an amusement park, since dubbed “Winter Blunderland.”

The 30 pound entrance fee, combined with excessively long lines, caused a father to confront and punch Santa, who had been seen by many visitors without his beard, smoking.

The incident involved three elves and three security guards as well.

Reach columnist Matthew Jackson at news@dailyuw.com.