I wonder if he knows that people cared and were stripping off their jackets and shirts to put out the flames.

I wonder if he knows that I was struck mute after I called Harborview and was told he was dead. I was reporting for my internship at Seattle Weekly, and there was no follow up from me, no when and why, as there should have been. There was simply a long sigh and a “thank you for the information.”

I wonder if he knows that my coworkers and I held each other for long minutes and cried in the corner of The Daily newsroom.

I wonder if he knows that I stood on Thursday night and watched a lone person power-wash Red Square. I could smell the bleach all the way from the Quad. I stood and watched and tried to imagine despair so deep, darkness so profound that it could drive a human being to take his own life in such a way. Watching the steam rise from the bricks, I knew it was possible, but I didn’t want to imagine it. It was too frightening.

I wonder if he knows that one girl threw water from her water bottle to try to put out the fire, that a man stood by and prayed, that many others ran for fire extinguishers and pulled off sweatshirts to help him — a man they didn’t know and a man determined to take his own life.

I wonder if he knew how much some of us would be affected by his death, from those at the scene to his family and friends to reporters and readers. Perhaps that was something that he could not imagine, like I could not comprehend the darkness that may have driven him to that final act.

I wonder if knowing this might have made a difference. As people stood over him, calling for help, shocked and crying, perhaps that difference came too late.

Reach columnist Erinn Unger at opinion@dailyuw.com.