We like to think of our campus as a fairly safe place. Of course, it has its fair share of dangers associated with a large urban university, including random thefts and assaults.

But most of us feel pretty secure coming to and from classes, I’d bet.

How blissfully unaware we are of the real hazards lurking about.

While my colleague Matthew Jackson was busy hunting for pet frogs last week (“Quest for a cool critter,” Oct. 13), I scoured the campus, looking for the obvious and not-so-obvious most dangerous places, risking life and limb in the pursuit of your safety.

Did you know, for example, that there once was a nuclear reactor about 500 feet from the HUB?

Oh yes.

From 1961 to 1988, the UW ran an Argonaut research reactor in the glass-and-concrete structure now rather innocuously named the “Moore Hall Annex.” The reactor has since been removed. It was never really dangerous — I mean, it only stored enriched uranium. How dangerous could it have been?

No, that’s just the appetizer. The following are the really scary spots.

On a typical day, the steps leading into Red Square can be one of the deadliest places on campus.

The 1960s-era bricks have been worn as smooth as the seats on a Disneyland ride by the countless steps of freshmen spilling in and out of Kane Hall and Odegaard Undergraduate Library.

When it rains, which it tends to do — a lot — this time of year, these steps become tricky to navigate without slipping; when it snows or otherwise freezes, you might as well wear a helmet.

The real danger comes when you’re in a rush. If you move faster than, let’s say, a slow stroll, you face certain doom, as I have personally observed in my perpetually rushed forays across Red Scare.

Once, I was walking quickly down Suzzallo’s storied steps when — whoosh — my feet went straight out and my rear went down. They should call the place the UW Gravity Testing Center.

Some other rather treacherous spots are the LaRouche “checkpoints.”

The ultra-dedicated followers of the “LaRouche movement” — named after their leader, activist Lyndon LaRouche — corral the unwary, leaping upon every opportunity to engage in “conversation” about why LaRouche is awesome and everyone else is not.

If you must pass through one of these checkpoints, the best thing to do is to avoid eye contact, whip out your cell phone and pretend to talk, or, if you see anyone, and I mean anyone, you remotely recognize, shout out their name like they’re an old friend — “Hey! Dude ... err, buddy, from that quiz section in that one class we had the other year.”

Run up to your new/old acquaintance and shake his/her hand. If you’re lucky, the zealous LaRouchers will focus on someone else, and you’ll escape unharmed. Your bemused “friend” will also escape safely. Think of it as a rescue.

Next on my list of hidden danger zones is the HUB; specifically, the rails on the stairway in the dining hall. If you touch your face after handling what’s probably one of the most germy spots on campus, you might as well schedule your one free visit of the quarter to Hall Health in advance.

Seriously.

Fall quarter is the worst; the germs are still fresh and strong, piggybacking their way here on the hands of freshman and transfer students from around the country.

We don’t have natural immunity to these nasty little bugs, and before you know it — bam — you’re sicker than you’ve ever been and you have two papers to finish and a final to study for.

One word: soap. Use it often. It might save your life.

Reach columnist Will Mari at opinion@dailyuw.com