If the bright pink of all the pre-teen girls crammed into the theater doesn't scare away viewers, then the dull characters and unrealistic plot of the new Warner Brothers film Nancy Drew will make them wish they had stayed home — or at least that the villains had succeeded in running over the infuriatingly proper Nancy Drew.

Released June 15, this movie brings the popular mystery book character to the big screen and the 21st century. Though the film retains details from the classic book series, like Nancy's retro '50s outfits and her vintage blue roadster, the 16-year-old is thrown into the smog-covered commotion of modern Los Angeles. The result is jarring. Not only is the movie devoid of the charm and nostalgia of the original novels, but it also lacks the edge, humor and human-interest elements needed to make a film interesting and successful in Hollywood today.

Nancy Drew follows Nancy (Emma Roberts) from River Heights, a small town in the Midwest, to Hollywood High in California. She ends up living in a haunted house, complete with one of the greatest unsolved mysteries of all time. Of course, Nancy is up to the sleuthing challenge (and to overusing the word "sleuth" throughout the film). Inevitably, she gets tangled up with mobster-like villains.

Like a strange combination of Mean Girls and the straight-to-VHS Mary Kate and Ashley mystery movies, the plotline weaves back and forth between teen drama and childish detective work. Nancy moves from humiliation at the high school basketball game to horror of the house is skulking, shadowy caretaker in the middle of the night; the movie consistently wavers between formulaic teen comedy and predictable juvenile mystery while failing at both.

The scenes that take place at Hollywood High seem completely unnecessary, the portrayal of high school acutely cliché. However, the parts of the movie that involve Nancy investigating the mystery are perhaps even harder to bear as she unrealistically defuses bombs and performs emergency medical procedures on her peers. From car chases to cat fights, the movie passes over into ridiculous when Nancy convinces a man to help her by giving him a homemade brownie.

Actress Emma Roberts, niece of Julia Roberts, might have redeemed the meandering script and the unbelievable plot — if she had shown any emotion. However, throughout the movie, from being chased by murderers, to being romanced by cute boy Ned (Max Thieriot), to being teased at high school, Roberts is blank and emotionless; her character is never scared, excited or humiliated. Nancy's feelings are related not through acting but by means of "insightful" comments like, "It gets my goat when people try to kill me."

People who grew up reading Nancy Drew books, loving the character's ability to solve crimes while wearing crisp white gloves and sweater sets, will be disappointed by this flat, uninteresting rendition of their beloved heroine. And pre-teen girls, the audience at which the movie was obviously aimed, will not be impressed by the dull, annoyingly prim and proper main character. (She wouldn't ever break the speed limit in a car chase.) To put it simply, the movie is boring.

Unless you live in a small town in the Midwest and have a 10-year-old niece (and can get into the movies for free and have two hours to kill), your time is better spent checking out a classic Nancy Drew mystery novel.