Arranged marriage. The mere thought brings a disgusted frown to people’s faces. The idea conjures up images of veiled, powerless young women nervously waiting to see their husband for the first time on their wedding night. What a scarring tragedy for those women, or even children. No choice, no say, no independence.

Unfortunately, some women do suffer this fate. But many women and men engage in arranged marriages and live very happy, fulfilling lives. There is a lot more to arranged marriages than the deeply ingrained myths and misconceptions that surround the idea. For many cultures, the tradition has become an overshadowing stigma. But what exactly is an arranged marriage, and in what parts of the world do they happen in?

Like any other cultural custom, arranged marriages happen across the world in various cultures, mainly in Asia, Africa and the Middle East. One of the myths behind arranged marriages is that they are forced. The girl or woman is promised to another family’s son and at some point the two get married without any input from the lady, and maybe some input from the man.

Thankfully, this is not how most arranged marriages work. In the parts of the world where arranged marriages are done, modern lifestyles are often the norm. In India, a country known for its tradition of arranged marriages, they happen in the lowest and highest of economic brackets in the country. Typically, religion, social status, wealth and education are important factors.

One of the greatest misconceptions about arranged marriages is that they occur only in lower classes. A February BBC news story detailed the marriage search for well-off young Indians who lead very modern lives, but still want to adhere to tradition. Many, like IT graduates Sandeep and Sowmya Kulkarni, are using online matchmaking Web sites to find each other and get the wheels moving on family formalities and introductions before they tie the knot. NS Murthy, one of Bangalore’s top astrologers, has also gone online to help singles see what lies in their future. “My clients want to know about the prospects for the future, their prosperity, happiness, the number of children they’ll have and even their sex life,” he notes. That doesn’t sound too different from the Match.com mania, tarot cards and blind date activities that some matrimonially inclined Americans use.

In other cases, arranged marriages are less structured. In spite of the tumultuous state of affairs in the Arab world, people still do have time to marry. They meet at work, school or through friends, and once a mutual attraction is established, the two discuss introducing their families to each other, discuss engagement and ultimately prepare for a marriage at some point in the future.

Another of the greatest misconceptions about arranged marriage is that it is only an Islamic tradition. In the Arab world, arranged marriages can happen in Muslim, Christian and Jewish families.

Not all arranged marriages are between Muslims, nor are they all Islamically sound. For a Muslim wedding to be valid, the consent of both the man and the woman is required. If the bride says no, there’s no marriage.

In most cases, arranged marriages are not the frightening experience the stereotype makes them out to be. It might be a foreign concept to many, but in reality, it’s no different than the networking that happens between family and friends. The process provides a close, reliable and safe way for people to meet and get to know each other, and it’s a system that many are grateful to have, especially if finding a partner independently has proved exceedingly frustrating. It sure beats trying to meet somebody at a sleazy bar.

Reach columnist Hanady Kader at opinion@thedaily.washington.edu.