Jay Friedman has been described as an "agent of the devil" and a "perverted hippie." He has received death threats and has been accused of "stimulating students into an erotic state of frenzy."

Friedman is touring the college lecture circuit giving a lecture performance on sex education entitled "The J-Spot: A Sex Educator Tells All." Last night, he spoke to UW students as part of Sexual Assault and Relationship Violence Awareness Week.

The biggest downside in his line of work, Friedman said, is that people have different views and different values when it comes to sex. However, he feels that all students "desire and deserve quality information about sex."

In his lecture, Friedman gave conditions that should be met before a person is ready to have sex, he dispersed the myth of "blue balls," and addressed the oppression of masturbation in America.

An important aspect of Friedman's approach to sex education is that he includes a very strong male perspective.

The majority of sex educators are women, Friedman said, and thus, most men learn about sex from women. It's important for there to be someone speaking out about the male side of sex, he said.

He confronted pressures that men face when it comes to sex, the greatest being homophobia — not homophobia in the sense that men are afraid of homosexuals, but they are afraid of being perceived as gay, Friedman said.

The pressure on a man to not appear as a "sissy" or a "queer" to his peers has caused repercussions in society correlating to men and sex. Men often make sexual demands on their partners and are losing their virginity at an average age of 11.8 years.

Friedman also addressed the political and cultural aspects of sex.

"In comparison to other countries, the U.S. is very backward and Victorian [about sex]," Friedman said.

In some foreign countries, Star Wars is considered an adult film due to its violence, but what the U.S. would consider "soft-core porn" is freely broadcasted on television, Friedman pointed out.

Even the language in reference to sex is different in other countries. The first time someone has sex in the U.S., they are said to "lose their virginity;" countries in Northern Europe describe this event as "making your sexual debut."

The result is that countries such as Sweden, Denmark and the Netherlands have teen pregnancy rates 5-7 times lower than U.S. rates, along with lower occurrences of sexual assault and abortion.

Right now, the situation in the U.S. is getting worse, Friedman said. Administrators are aiming to re-label condoms as "detrimental to your health."

Abstinence-only sex education programs promote ideologies such as "Do the right thing — wait for the ring" and "Make-believe your date is Jesus."

Even with the cultural stigma that circulates around the topic of sex, Friedman maintains a positive view of sexuality.

"He really got in touch with the audience and made it a safe place [to talk about sex]," junior Sonnet Lauberth said.

Friedman gave tips on how to increase sexual pleasure, which included adding a tiny drop of lubricant, specifically water-based, to the reservoir tip of the condom.

He advocated the importance of Kegel exercises for sexual strength and stamina; he suggests doing three sets of 10 daily. The best time to do so, Friedman said, is when stopped at a red light.

Friedman hoped to help students understand how to achieve "the happiest, healthiest and most pleasurable sex lives possible," as well as to better understand what is going on in society in relation to sex.

"Sex is good," Friedman said.

Reach reporter Shauna Nuckles at news@thedaily.washington.edu.