The planet’s temperature is rising at an alarming rate. Much of the world lacks clean drinking water. A futile war rages on in Iraq. Bin Laden is still on the loose. Bird flu could spawn a global epidemic in our lifetime. AIDS already has.

It’s a mad world, to be sure — an increasingly easy place to become anxious, distracted or depressed. As it turns out, it’s also an increasingly easy place to sell people crap they don’t need.

We all know about human depression, but what about dog depression?

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has an answer. It just approved a new product, Prozac for dogs. The drug, packaged under the name Reconcile, comes in chewable beef-flavored tablets.

As an executive from Eli Lilly and Co., the company that manufactures and markets the drug, said in a recent MSNBC report, “Lilly research shows that 10.7 million, or up to 17 percent of U.S. dogs suffer from separation anxiety.”

Forgive me for the skepticism, but just how does one diagnose a dog with separation anxiety? Doesn’t eat his dessert? Insomnia? Sweaty paws? Makes disturbing drawings that foretell future events?

Experts say that symptoms of separation anxiety can include destructive behaviors, excessive barking and urinating at inappropriate times. Probably another symptom is being a dog.

I suppose this is a logical next step for drug manufacturers. Between drugs for hyperactivity, inactivity, apathy, exuberance and everything in between, the human market is already saturated. Why not sell drugs to dogs? They’re kind of like people (live in houses, use oxygen). Brilliant. Besides, it’s not as though the FDA has human drugs it needs to approve for diseases like cancer.

Another thing that’s kind of like drugs is cell phones. Once users get accustomed to cell phones, it’s hard to live life without them, and they will periodically need to see a dealer for a new prescription.

Apple is a phenomenon of both technology and style in the Northwest, and there’s no doubt that they sell a solid product, but I’m having a hard time with the iPhone, the forthcoming Apple Inc. phone-iPod-computer. Those on the cutting edge of technology are obligated to buy it, but what for?

It seems awfully inconsiderate to listen to an iPod while talking on the phone, and awfully annoying to have to listen to the phone while talking to your iPod.

Since remote handheld Internet browsing is nothing new, it appears at least preliminarily that the new product is just a glorified pocketsize plastic case of old technologies assembled with questionable design logic and an Apple logo to drive the price through the roof.

Not to worry, Apple. You’ll sell millions and make billions.

Something else that’s been making millions is vintage guitars — old guitars that sell for much more than newer, better guitars. As the Seattle Times reports, an increasing market full of nostalgic baby boomers who grew up listening to rock ‘n’ roll is creating a new level of revenue for local instrument shops.

This Sunday marks the 16th annual Greater Seattle Vintage Guitar show. It is expected to draw 80 to 100 vendors from around the area. Vintage guitars from the 50s and 60s today often sell for tens of thousands of dollars, or even hundreds of thousands.

Nostalgia is fine, but supposing the trend continues, it seems like a guy will have to liquidate all personal belongings to get nostalgic in the future (with a vintage iPod?).

Maybe the depressing and gravely serious state of global affairs has contributed to the bizarre state of modern consumerism — distractions like guitars, extravagant phones and depressed dog diagnoses provide something novel for a wearied public.

Then again, maybe advertisers have taken advantage of a wearied public to sell crap that anybody not living in a world of climate change, war, bird flu and AIDS would buy.

Reach columnist Andrew D. Brown at opinion@thedaily.washington.edu.