For everyone that is or has been sexually active, embarrassing sex stories probably exist. Every romp in the sack does not go to plan — or even go well. Whether it's as common as being walked in on by an unknowing roommate and wrestling with the unpredictable nature of fluid trajectory or as outlandish as being caught with a mouthful in a Denny's booth, everyone will most likely run across a few in their day. Here are just a few stories of the potential volumes that could be written on the subject. All persons will remain anonymous, to protect the humiliated.

Garbage Dick — UW senior

It had been a long night of binge drinking. And, as is often the case, I was too drunk.

It just so happens that all night one of my buddies had been followed by the same girl. She was a bigger girl, hadn't lost her baby fat. You know.

Being my blacked-out self, I decided I was going to jump on this grenade for my comrade and invite the girl into my room.

Once we were inside one thing led to another and she eventually mentioned the idea of her and I having sex. I was not averse to the idea at the time, so I agreed to it. Like I said, I was trashed.

Anyway, she asked me if I had a condom, and for some reason I didn't. She sent me to go look for one, so I promptly left my room to accomplish this mission. Suddenly, I was overcome with fatigue and had to sit down right outside of my room against the wall. I sat like this for a reasonable amount of what would have been condom-searching time and then re-entered the room.

I told her that I couldn't find one, and that we should proceed as planned. This, which is still beyond me, was unacceptable. She claimed that there had to be a condom somewhere in the building. Again, I was sent to find a condom. I sat outside my room once more.

My second return went a lot like the first, and I found myself outside my room for a third time. At this point I was beginning to sober up, and I was frankly getting a bit sick of it.

Somebody had left an empty black garbage bag in the hall way so I grabbed it and made my way back inside the room.

Now, this may be kind of hard to picture, but basically what I tried to do was make a condom out of the black garbage bag. The way I went about this was to scrunch the bag up so that my penis was in the very corner of it, and then I pulled it tight. Voila, condom.

This was not welcomed as well as I'd hoped it would be. The girl was astonished and appalled and I was just tired. I wanted to go to bed. I ended up passing out without using my garbage bag, and I don't know where the girl ended up.

Fast Times at Handjob High — UW sophomore

My senior year of high school I had a girlfriend. It was really my last successful bout with a girl; I guess college kind of does that to you.

My girlfriend and I had several classes together, and as couples often do, we sat together. Cute? It gets cuter.

So, my girlfriend and I weren't freaks or anything, in fact we never had sex, but I do think that we thought we were sneakier than we really were. Maybe we were naïve.

We got it into our heads that somehow we could get away with getting to second base in class — or is it third base? I don't know, but I'm talking about handjobs here.

This actually went surprisingly well for a while, or so we thought. I won't get into any sort of details or explanation of the mechanics of all of it, but let's just say I was a happy camper come second and sixth period some days.

One day, in order to dispose of the evidence off her hands, my girlfriend went to the front of the class to the tissue box, and pretended to blow her nose. In reality she was wiping her hand off. Slick.

We thought we were so sly for a couple of weeks until one fateful day.

It happened in second period, I remember it like it was yesterday. There I was, red in the face and my girlfriend quietly working her magic. A girl who was sitting near her folded up a piece of paper and passed it over. My girlfriend unfolded the note and began reading.

Suddenly she was as red in the face as I had been a few minutes prior, so I took the note and read it: "Everyone knows what you're doing."

Let's just say we spent the rest of the day trying to quell this "rumor," and I never busted a nut in class again. All good things must come to an end I guess.

Look Ma! No hands!

Nose Shovel — UW senior

I was in bed with a girl and we were fooling around. Eventually she started to go down on me.

But this is where it got weird. For some reason the girl refused to use her hands during oral sex. She would only use her mouth.

I don't know about everyone else, but I've always been under the impression that it was necessary to use hands during blowjobs for stabilization purposes. Apparently the girl never got the memo.

Her solution to this problem was a peculiar yet comical one.

Instead of putting my penis back in her mouth with her hands when it occasionally came out, she would use her nose kind of like a steam-shovel and sort of "scoop" it back into her mouth. It was like a pig digging for a truffle with its snout.

She kept this up, sort of nudging and sort of scooping it back into her mouth until I finished.

I've never seen anything like it. Props for ingenuity, I suppose.

The Cursed Box of Condoms — UW senior

I had been hanging out with this really cute girl for a while and things were going well. I'm talking really cute, probably out of my league.

Things got to the point where I thought it would be a good idea to go and buy a box of condoms. They weren't special of course, just normal condoms. I didn't get those desensitizing ones that are notorious for adverse affects. If only I had known they were cursed.

Now, we were in my bed one night (I might add that I was extremely drunk) and things were starting to get heated, so I asked her if I should go ahead and grab a condom. She said yes. I put a condom on and all of a sudden I was a flaccid as a dead eel.

This, if you don't know, is a horribly embarrassing moment in the life of a young male.

Acting quickly, I went down on her, partially to hide my half-mast and partially to buy myself time.

While I was down on her I was secretly and desperately beating myself off in order to regain rigidity.

Once I was ready I got back up to do the deed, but to my horror my penis went limp again.

I immediately pulled out the only gun left in my arsenal and proclaimed that I was too drunk to have sex. I feigned a pass out.

Luckily she bought it.

The next night she came back over and my self esteem was refurbished. I was ready this time. No flubs that night; or so I thought (I'll add here that again, I was particularly drunk).

The next night went about as bad as the first. For some reason I just couldn't keep it up when the condom went on.

Let's just say that the girl and I never hung out again, and I was left with half a box of cursed condoms.

I know that it was the condoms and not me, because one of my friends borrowed one of the condoms in question and the same thing happened to him, except that he was completely sober.

Be wary of the condoms you buy, they can easily end a potential relationship.

Doctor Love — UW sophomore

My boyfriend and I had been dating for a long time. One night we were having sex and somehow he managed to lose the condom inside me. Like, deep inside of me.

I started to freak out a little bit because I didn't know how I was going to get it out.

My boyfriend claimed he had a good idea, so I was momentarily relieved.

When I found out what his "good idea" was however, this relief quickly vanished.

My boyfriend grabbed a pair of tweezers and said he was going to pull the condom out.

Of course, I was shocked and disgusted and did not let him carry out his plan.

Eventually the issue sort of worked itself out, and I never got tweezed.

Bad Dog — UW junior

I had wanted to hook up with this guy for about three years but never got the chance.

Finally the day came and I got my chance. It was at my house and we snuck in so my parents wouldn't find out. Things couldn't have gone better — up to this point.

When his pants came off, however, I was tremendously disappointed. He wasn't exactly well-endowed, if you know what I mean. I thought this might be the low point of the experience, but it turned out I was wrong.

Right in the middle of sex his dog busted into the room and started barking at us and humping us uncontrollably. I got so scared that I screamed. This of course woke up my parents.

My parents were so alarmed that they called the police before anybody knew what was going on.

When the police arrived they promptly arrested my partner and hauled him off in the back of a squad car.