The following is a conversation recorded during a night of sweet loving between two passionate and experienced lovers:

"So ... whose turn is it tonight?"

"Not it."

"Ha, ha ... I think it's actually your turn, honey bear."

"You sure, sweetie pie? I could have sworn I did all the work last night ... "

"No love, last night was Thursday. I give Tuesdays and Thursdays; you give Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Remember?"

"True, but that was last month. We changed it this month because you're always tired on Tuesdays and Thursdays ... remember?"

"Well I wouldn't be so tired if you would just hurry it up down there every once in awhile."

"How am I supposed to hurry it up when I don't have a clue if I'm doing it right?"

"Well, how am I supposed to tell you what to do when you keep falling asleep on me?"

"Look, it was that one time ... I told you I was sorry!"

"Well unfortunately saying 'I'm sorry' isn't going to cut it this time around."

"Fine, I'll give tonight! Sheesh."

It's safe to believe that conversations such as this one occur often. Whether it's in the bed, the shower, on the kitchen table, in the closest or out on the patio, couples are always in strict argument over who has to go south of the border. Such arguments generally lead to bad sex, less sex and in some instances, no sex. My heart goes out to the latter.

And yet I'm supposed to sit here and give you a valid argument on why receiving is better. Because apparently, according to "the general populace," there is a debate going around on whether or not it is better to give or receive.

Let me put it this way: Have you ever heard of a couple delaying making love to one another because one person doesn't want to be the one receiving pleasure? I mean, have you ever had the chance to get some action and said, "You know what, I'm not in the mood for that. I'd rather go down and do all the work?"

Yeah, I didn't think so.

On top of that, there's absolutely no pressure when you're on the receiving end. You don't have to worry about how you're lying down, or whether or not you're making the right orgasm noises. Heck, you don't even have to concentrate on what's going on. You can just sit there, let your mind wander, maybe even hum a song — while experiencing some of the best feelings the human body can get.

However, if you're the giver, you've got to memorize all those secret combinations and special moves to get them in the right mood. Then you have to worry about going too long or too short, too hard or too soft, too fast or too slow. It's like playing a video game for the first time and having no idea what the controls do. You're going to get the "Game Over" screen ... a lot.

Don't get me wrong; I can see why people might argue how giving can be pleasurable. I'll admit that every once in awhile it's nice to see the other person happy as well. But at the same time, I want to have the same pleasure that I'm giving them. I want to somehow be giving pleasure while I receive the same treatment.

And that my friends, is why they invented the 69.

Reach columnist Eric Uthus at editor@thedaily.washington.edu.