By
Amy Korst
February 15, 2007
Married couples in Washington state just got a big surprise courtesy of the Washington Defense of Marriage Alliance. The group is gathering signatures for an initiative that, if passed into law, would require all marriages to result in children within three years of taking wedding vows. Couples would have to enter into a marriage with the intent of having kids — those not wanting or not able to have children would not be recognized as married.
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Defense
Amy Korst
Supreme Court
At first glance, this initiative, I-957, seems to be written by anti-gay marriage activists trying to void arguments used by gay couples seeking legal union. Last July, state Supreme Court officials ruled that gay couples would not be granted marriage rights because, among other reasons, one purpose of matrimony is to have children. Justices in this case voted 5-4 to uphold Washington’s Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).
A closer look, however, will show that the group proposing this initiative is actually a gay rights group intent on shoving the court’s ruling in its face. The logic goes as follows: If the courts say the purpose of a marriage is children, then all heterosexual marriages must result in children.
The Defense of Marriage Alliance seems to be trying to make a name for itself as a parody organization in much the same way Weird Al Yankovic made a career for himself. The group’s name forms the same acronym as Washington’s marriage act mentioned earlier.
Among other things, the initiative would require married couples to file proof of procreation to the state within three years of the marriage date or have the marriage annulled and would prohibit couples with an unrecognized marriage to receive marriage benefits.
I just got married this summer, and I have no intention of having children, neither now nor ever. This is a deep, emotional decision I’ve spent hours and years considering and discussing with my husband. When I first heard about this initiative and thought that perhaps it was meant to be taken seriously, I was really upset. A marriage is about much, much more than having kids, I thought.
I realize this reaction plays right into the Defense of Marriage Alliance’s hands. This realization of the true meaning of marriage, however, was not something I needed pointed out to me, and I resent the proposed initiative for implying that I hadn’t thought long and hard about what makes a marriage real before walking down the aisle.
So my reaction to the proposal is one I doubt the group anticipated.
I’ve always been an adamant supporter of gay civil unions — and marriage, at the discretion of religious institutions. I’ve long thought that gay couples should be allowed to have the same rights as married couples. Now, I’m second-guessing my support of this cause.
If gay couples, or at least members of the Defense of Marriage Alliance, take the institution of marriage so lightly as to make a farce of the sacredness of marriage, perhaps they are not mature enough to be granted the right to legal union. I can’t imagine a worse political move than to undermine the very institution you wish to join.
On the Defense of Marriage Alliance’s Web site is an explanation of one thing the group hopes to achieve by gathering signatures for its initiative: “And at the very least, it should be good fun to see the social conservatives who have long screamed that marriage exists for the sole purpose of procreation be forced to choke on their own rhetoric.”
And though I thought I would rue the day I sided with social conservatives on anything, what I have to say to the Defense of Marriage Alliance is this: You’ve never had conservatives on your side, but you did at one time have the support of many married liberals like myself. I hope this joke of an initiative was worth alienating your remaining supporters, because you just lost me.
Perhaps Defense of Marriage Alliance members would also do well to remember what my mom taught me: the person who makes an ultimatum never wins.
Reach columnist Amy Korst at opinion@thedaily.washington.edu.
12 Comments
#1 Kam
on February 15, 2007 at 9:23 a.m.(UW Campus | Unverified Name)
So Ms. Korst is going to drop her support for equal rights for all gays and lesbians because one gay man filed an initiative that she doesn't like? If so, I have to question how committed Ms. Korst really was to the cause of equality for all in the first place. Her sense of justice is truly shallow!
#2 Patrick
on February 15, 2007 at 9:37 a.m.(Seattle, WA | Unverified Name)
Oh please - this initiative is merely pointing out the fallacy of right-wing anti-gay-marriage arguments by (hypothetically) forcing conservatives to admit that marriage should not be limited only to people who have children. Much like several Democratic congressmember's proposals to reinstate the draft, it's not serious, but simply a new method of proving a point.
Are you seriously saying that because of an initiative designed to show how silly opposition to gay marriage is, you are suddenly going to be opposed to gay marriage? On what grounds? The grounds that this initiative mocks as ridiculous?
#3 John Medlin
on February 15, 2007 at 11:20 a.m.(UW Campus | Unverified Name)
Letters to the Editor
University of Washington Daily
February 15, 2007
I’m amazed that Amy Korst can actually state the true purpose of the “Defense of Marriage Association’s†initiative and then barge on to take it instead as a personal attack on her own marriage, and even further as an attack on the institution of marriage itself. Does she think any rational gay person has the least desire or expectation that this “initiative†would ever come to a vote? I suggest that Ms. Korst 1) relax, 2) re-read her own third paragraph, 3) look up the word satire in the dictionary, and 4) peruse Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal.â€
John Medlin
UW Libraries
3-1929
#4 Karl
on February 15, 2007 at 12:24 p.m.(UW Campus | Unverified Name)
A few thoughts:
1.) Though I think the initiative idea is counterproductive in the end, there are a few benefits. For example, by adopting the name 'Defense of Marriage Alliance' it simultaneously discredits the 'Defense of Marriage Act' in the public mind. Additionally, as the website points out, if actually passed, it would almost certainly be struck down by the state supreme court, thereby undermining a basis for its previous holding in Anderson v. State.
2.) The state supreme court did not say that one of the purposes of marriage is procreation; the court said that, given the greatest possible degree of deference, the legislature was entitled to BELIEVE that was a purpose. (There is some debate as to whether the proper standard was to give the legislature such deference)
3.) I feel this editorial is a bit of a knee-jerk reaction. As other commenters have already suggested, it is a bit inappropriate to withdraw support for a principle merely because one disagrees with a tactic employed by certain individuals advocating that principle. (Should one abandon Christianity merely because certain Christian sects engage in abhorrent practices?)
#5 Sari
on February 15, 2007 at 12:31 p.m.(Puyallup, WA | Unverified Name)
I just wanted to add one thought to these comments. When I read Ms. Korst's editorial, I didn't think she was saying she was withdrawing her support from equal rights for gays but rather just refusing to support the Defense of Marriage Alliance anymore. That seems like a fair thing to do.
#6 Jon
on February 15, 2007 at 1:46 p.m.(UW Campus | Unverified Name)
I think that Kam, Patrick, and John all articulated what I wanted to say very well, but I'd also just want to add one more point. Right now in the U.S., gay Americans are being oppressed by their own government who is denying their right to marry. This is not unlike many other groups in our history(African-Americans, women being denied the right to vote, etc.). In order for real change to happen, it is almost always necessary to take extreme political actions; this has been done in the form of demonstrations, protests, and in this case making a point by legislation. The actions that this group is taking is no more ridiculous than the government that is oppressing them. I am proud that this group is standing up to the government who has denied them their rights as citizens of the United States of America, and I think that in the future we will all look back in disbelief at the injustices being done today.
#7 Dustin
on February 15, 2007 at 1:54 p.m.(Seattle, WA | Unverified Name)
Even though I-957 is meant to be satire, it just goes to show how irrational the current law is. She doesn't want to have to live by the same rules homosexuals do and supports "equal rights" until the possibility of her having to live by the same rules applies. She says that this initiative implies that she hasn't thought long and hard about marrying, but I know gay couples that have been together longer than she has been alive and still can't get married even though they've thought "long and hard" about what makes a marriage or relationship real. If she was truly a supporter of equal rights she would have never gotten married until homosexuals were allowed to also, if she's as "adamant" of a supporter of gay civil unions/marriages as she claimed to be.
And to add to what Sari said, Amy Korst said "If gay couples, or at least members of the Defense of Marriage Alliance, take the institution of marriage so lightly as to make a farce of the sacredness of marriage, perhaps they are not mature enough to be granted the right to legal union." Seems like she's trying to extend it to gay couples, but I just have one thing to say about that...if straight people can be married on tv shows like "Who wants to marry a millionaire" can she really hold the belief that she's entitled to marriage when straight people make a much larger farce out of it than gays have.
It's disappointing that The Daily would print what Amy Korst had to offer on this topic.
#8 Helen
on February 15, 2007 at 3:03 p.m.(UW Campus | Unverified Name)
Here's another point to ponder... As a employee, I can marry a complete stranger and immediately sign him up at the UW Benefits Office with no questions asked (other than his SSN). If I were a lesbian seeking benefits for my partner, I would need to provide proof that we had lived together for at least six months, a copy of a shared lease or mortgage, shared power-of-attorney, have joint ownership of a vehicle, shared bank accounts, be primary beneficiaries in each other's wills, and more. I've been married for nearly 10 years and still couldn't couldn't come up a fraction of the documentation required of same-sex domestic partners to obtain medical and pension benefits. Now, imagine jumping through all those hoops and still not gaining access to marriage benefits that are granted on a federal level such as social security rights or favored immigration status. That is what galls me, not that others may not share my (ir)reverence for the institution of marriage.
#9 mike
on February 15, 2007 at 6:35 p.m.(Seattle, WA | Unverified Name)
well so now marriage is sacred, huh. 50% of you heterosexists don't even believe that. it can be of course, but it has never been a prerequisite for heterosexuals to believe that marrige is a sacred institution prior to 'coupling'. marriage is a social priveledge not necessarily a moral sacrament. you should consider visiting your dismay in this regard on the millions of heterosexual americans who do not share your view first before you go off and blame the victims of arrogant majoritarian views.
perhaps i think that you have not passed the basic test required to vote because of your inferior femininity. others have fought for your individual rights in our nations recent past and you need to understand, and represent, and then show some small amount of appreciation and respect for that, amy.
give me a break you arrogant child thing.
#10 Gregory Gadow
on February 20, 2007 at 5:02 p.m.(Tucson, AZ | Unverified Name)
I remind Mrs. Korst that the Washington Defense of Marriage Alliance is not the ones who would make procreation a prerequisite for marriage: the Washington Supreme Court has already done this. All we are doing is putting an extant ruling of the state Court into statutory form. If she has issues with this, her concerns would be better directed to Associate Justice Barbara Madsen, Associate Justice Charles Johnson and Chief Justice Gerry Alexander.
#11 Stephanie
on February 20, 2007 at 10:14 p.m.(UW Campus | Unverified Name)
I just have to say that I love how in your 3rd-to-last paragraph you juxtapose the phrase "make a farce of the sacredness of marriage" with "be granted the right to legal union"...funny how the first term refers much more to the religious aspects of marriage (note: "sacred" is usually a religius term), while the second term refers to the legal component of the question. Nice contradiction of terms...
#12 Zak Stoltz
on April 28, 2007 at 10:13 p.m.(Los Angeles, CA | Unverified Name)
First of all, when you talk about marriage, you say "at the discretion of religious institutions," but there is a big difference between civil marriage and religious marriage. Just thought I'd point that out.
Second, I don't know what you're so worried about. Only good can come from this (for those of us who are in support of same-sex marriage). If you're worried about your marriage being annulled, don't. If passed, I-957 WILL get struck down as unconstitutional. Heterosexual marriage is a fundamental right (See Loving v. Virginia and Zablocki v. Redhail). The point here is not to undermine the institution of marriage. The point is to extend equal rights to gay and lesbian couples, and if you honestly believe that the proponents of I-957 are "immature" then you obviously aren't as sympathetic to the plight of gays and lesbians as you think you are (or once were).
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