I can’t say my laptop has ever let me down. It remembers my birthday, knows my favorite songs and remembers my search history. It makes sure I spell words correctly and despite the occasional crash, it saves everything I create for it. Let’s face it, my G4 Power Book has pleasured me more than any man has.

If my laptop can do all that for me, imagine what a life-sized robot could do.

Researcher David Levy at the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands has a couple ideas of what humans can do with robots. He completed his Ph.D. with work on the subject of human-robot relationships, and was quoted by Live Science in an article two weeks ago saying he predicts humans will be having sex with robots in five years, and will eventually be allowed to marry them in the United States by 2050.

“There’s a trend of robots becoming more human-like in appearance and coming more in contact with humans,” Levy said in the Live Science article. “Love and sex with robots are inevitable.”

At first it seems like a joke calling someone who specializes in robot sex “doctor,” but it would appear Dr. Levy isn’t kidding that in the near future, you may be able to program your husband or wife, and make them love you and satisfy you however you want.

Though it seems like a creepy scene straight out of Metropolis, the notion of romance between a human and something less-than dates back to ancient Greek times (sculptor Pygmalion fell in love with his ivory statue creation) and has infiltrated pop culture in movies like The Stepford Wives and Bicentennial Man ever since.

But, will human beings really stoop so low? Is society getting so lazy, so complacent, so fed up with the cruel game of love that we’d really settle for programmable love? Would we really marry the equivalent of a sex toy?

Maybe. I’ve had friends complain to me that their boyfriends are heartless, affectionless and distant. I’ve had guys complain that their girlfriends are dimwitted. These mates already have a heart of steel; maybe they might as well have an everything-else of steel.

Technology is already de-humanizing our interpersonal relationships. Many nights, I’m more content staying home and reading Slate.com and playing Facebook Scrabble with friends than venturing outside in the cold to actually hang out with someone. With the third degree of separation that is my computer screen or my cell phone, the next step would be to take the humans out of it all together.

I don’t think robot sex (or, for the monogamous robot-lover, marriage) would be nearly as satisfying. It’d be sort of like scratching your own back: Sure, it’d feel good, but not as good as if someone did it for you.

It’s the uncertainty of how the other will react that makes human interactions so interesting. Because as well as you know someone, you never really know what they’re thinking, nor can you predict how they’ll respond to you. It’s fulfilling when you put love out there in earnest and have it returned.

Texting someone doesn’t make me feel as good as sitting in a bar or cafe, and seeing someone face-to-face. As much fun as Facebook Scrabble is, I’d rather play the deluxe set in person. Engaging in relationships with technology can sometimes actually make me feel more lonely, and I suspect the knowledge that I had to program something to love me will stop it from feeling like love at all.

Unless I can create a Scrabble-genius robot. I could fall in love with that.

Next week: Lookin’ for love on Craigslist. Part 1: Perusing for a date.

[Reach columnist Erin Hicks at features@thedaily.washington.edu.]