We have all been culprits of borrowing our friend's shirt and not returning it in a reasonable amount of time, but there is a breed of people who have taken this habit to another level. I really wish there was a club called "Borrowers Anonymous," because, sadly, this habit follows these people throughout their entire lives with a trail of broken relationships over a lack of social awareness.

Many wars have been started between friends for disrespectful borrowing. I am not against borrowing and believe that when in doubt always remember the golden rule: Do unto others as you would like them to do for you. If you know your friend is a pushover, don't ask to borrow her Diane Von Furstenburg dress, unless you know you will be extremely careful and have the funds to replace it if you break the zipper.

The upside to the rule is when the special borrower, who is missing a filter, asks to borrow one of your shirts. What are you to do when you know that person will not return your clothes but is so enticing that you just don't know how to say no?

You borrowed my black leather wristlet and two weeks later I found it in the living room. Anyone could have taken it, and now it's in my room (oh, and you left your passport inside). You borrowed my purple tights and USB port with pictures on it. You had my forest green bomber jacket for weeks; I didn't realize it was gone until I saw you wearing it.

Why can't you return things? A better question is: Why do I continue to let you borrow things?

We all have our issues and the roles we play with our friends. With some people I give, and with others I take, but there is one thing you do not do to me. You do not ruin something of mine and not replace it.

I don't care how desperate you are to look like you can afford those jeans. You do not borrow cheap jeans, expensive jeans, or they-could-make-my-butt-look-better jeans. Jeans are a huge borrowing risk. They mold to a person's legs and hips. They rip easily and when stretched too much, they may not go back to their original fit on. Don't be a social spasm and try to borrow jeans.

When you ruin something you borrowed, you don't just pay for it. You have to go to Nordstrom and re-buy the item. If you must wash the shirt, call your friend and ask how they would like it to be washed, but always hang dry.

Some may disagree, but I have seen bloodshed over borrowing shoes. Never borrow shoes if you have a wide fit or are a clunky walker who is hard on heels.

The most important rule is if you borrow their stuff then they can borrow yours. I HAD a friend who liked to borrow high-end clothes, shoes and basically anything expensive. Whenever she asked to use something I would always say yes, but when I ever wanted to borrow something she would say, "No, it's expensive."

My solution was to talk to all of our other friends about how much this annoyed me and as it turns out, she was pulling the same weight with them. This borrowing unfrenzy problem didn't make our friendship last. People who don't understand that relationships go both ways don't have healthy relationships.

Whether it's a wool trench coast or an ugly pink North Face Fleece, if it's not yours, have the dollar amount of its worth in your bank account.

[Reach reporter Shanelle Smith at features@thedaily.washington.edu.]