I thought it would be funny to feature black metal in a preview/review article for the holidays. Then I realized: There is nothing funny about the blackest darkness of the human soul.

Metal permeates the theoretical fabric of the most wonderful time of the year.

The holiday season, as defined according to monotheistic religion, conveniently corresponds to preexisting pagan holidays. The highest holy days generally occur during the darker months of the year because pagan rituals of death and renewal celebrated darkness and the return of the sun. When the northern hemisphere’s pre-agricultural societies wanted to entice the life-giving Sun God’s return, they threw a massive party.

Over thousands of years these winter orgies of sensual gratification became increasingly unpopular. Urban civilization required complex social structures and religious orthodoxy. The expansion of monotheism, morality narratives and consumerism dulled the celebration of the winter solstice and sent the remaining polytheists scurrying to the darkest corners of suburban Oslo, Berlin, New York and Seattle.

Dingy rock clubs and dirty bars serve their purpose as the Stonehenge of 2007, bringing together those who still acknowledge the human fear of darkness, death and decomposition.

Metal, especially black and doom metal, are the highly evolved cultural formations of ancient paganism. Metal-heads are (mostly) not nihilists. Instead they are the offspring of pre-moralist idol worshipers and the rightful heirs of season-based religious events. Black metal as we know it today originated from the band Black Sabbath and has since diverged into innumerable categories.

Names to know in contemporary (touring) black metal bands include Lamb of God, Killswitch Engage, Slayer, Opeth, Shadows Fall, Celtic Frost and, my personal favorite, Sunn O))).

Sunn O))) (pronounced sun) is actually a drone metal band, featuring no rhythm guitar or drum work and instead emphasizing haunting operatic growling. The two members of Sunn O))) met in Seattle during community college before moving to Los Angeles to produce some of the most disturbing popular music ever to be widely sold.

The band was just in Seattle last month at Neumos, too early for the holiday season. Receiving attention for being the most evil sounding band around, Sunn O))) has been featured in everything from London’s i-D to The New York Times. Grab 2006’s Black One for a cozy evening by the yule log (fire is very metal).

Cartoon Network has run the second season of Metalocalypse, a show that has been the leading show in the network’s 18-34 male demographic since it premiered.

The show features graphic animated blood and gore with comedy focused on metal and music industry’s stereotypes and myths. After the first season, an album of the songs from the fake band was released. For perhaps the first time, giving and receiving the gift of metal-related comedy is a possibility this holiday season.

For those of you who want to experience metal first hand this holiday season, I recommend Tool at the Everett Events Center Dec. 4. Also, the Seattle venues El Corazon and the Funhouse commonly feature the best in local pagan ritual.

— Erik Stinson