I never thought this day would come. Sure, I'm single, carry my own books, pay for my own Amstel Lights and see the occasional movie alone, but who cares right? I still have my pride.

Not anymore I don't. And it's all Craig and his list's fault.

I can't help it if Craigslist is like a virtual Target. At Target, no one would call you a freak if you set out to buy Windex, and leave the store with a six-pack of gum, toothpaste, the Blade Runner DVD and a fake Christmas tree. So, why should I feel bad about myself if I set out looking for an apartment on Craigslist, and then saw I could also look for furniture? And used cameras. And writing jobs. And that old Nintendo Duck game. And, what? They have personal ads on here?

Sweet — Craigslist is even better. You can't buy dates at Target.

I decided I was going to respond to one. Just for the hell of it. But, as I'd find out, virtual shopping for dates isn't easy.

The ads were entertaining and varied. Some were brief ("Don't want anything complicated, just someone to see a movie with tonight"), some self-effacing ("I believe in true love, that's why I post ads on Craigslist") and others were creepily in depth (one began "I was born on a cold day" and ended, five pages later, with "looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with"). Yikes.

And pictures only further complicate the matter. While most didn't have pictures, some posted pictures of abs, but no face (Is this a sign?).

Others posted zoomed out pictures of them sitting on their car (overcompensating?). One posted a picture of Richard Simmons. And, this is the one I chose.

Mr. Richard Simmons' ad read: "Kinda funny, alright lookin', likes Japanese food, mad, crazy guitar hero skills, a bit of a world traveler. Last time put up an ad and it was hijacked and someone used my picture and it was this whole debacle. I also use words like debacle. Picture for picture, let's grab sushi sometime."

Why him you might ask? He posted a picture of Richard Simmons and used the awesome word 'debacle' twice. This dude's funny.I don't know if a sense of humor is necessarily an indication of mental sanity, but I can't recall Anne Rule or any other true crime author describing serial killers as funny. Charming, intelligent, or cunning, sure. But I've never heard Ted Bundy acclaimed for his comedic timing.

I think I'm safe. Unless Jerry Seinfield goes on a killing spree tomorrow. Then I'm screwed.

I sent him my picture, and asked when he wanted to get some sushi, preferably on conveyer belts. Stay tuned for the conclusion of my Craigslist adventure.

Next week: Craigslist part 2: Finally, a date?

[Reach columnist Erin Hicks at features@thedaily.washington.edu.]