Tall, vanilla latte... Hmm, how about a double-ristretto, half-caf, tall, non-fat, 155-degree, 1.5-pump-vanilla, extra-foamy latte.

Could you tell the difference between the taste of these drinks? Nor could I, and I was a barista for a year and a half.

In a city known for depending on coffee to meet its caffeine needs, some of us have gotten a little ridiculous when it comes to ordering our daily fix. However, the picky quickly turns into insulting when you throw in a few unaware and self-absorbed customers.

According to a Healthsaver survey, 60 percent of Seattleites turn to coffee for their caffeine needs, and seeing that baristas control Seattle's caffeine flow, if baristas went on strike, 60 percent of Seattle would cease to function properly.

Just think of the Boeing airplane malfunctions and all the additional "updates" Microsoft would have to put out. On the plus side, maybe we'd all accidentally fall asleep in our cereal bowls, catch up on an entire quarter of backlogged sleep and inadvertently fix our traffic problems by failing to show up to work.

In all seriousness though, here are a few tips of how to show your barista a little love, ensuring they don't give you decaf.

The worst offender of espresso etiquette is the cell phone user. These people talk on their cell phone in line until it's their turn, and then they stick their finger up, instructing the barista to wait until their conversation is over. It's the worst when that stupid little finger wiggles like a conductor's baton.

First, it's just rude. Second, no one is so busy that they can't hang up the phone for 30 seconds. Third, it's not good business to allow one self-centered person to hold up the line for the sake of his or her rude behavior.

Seasoned baristas should ignore cell phone people, serve the next customer first and then ensure the cell phone user's non-fat caramel macchiato is decaf.

Pulling espresso through morning rushes is like juggling to a musical beat. If the lead barista misses a beat, everything can crash, except it's to the tune of steamed milk burning someone's foot. Don't be the party crasher.

Party crashers are often convinced that they know more about coffee than the experienced barista, and insist on puppy-guarding their drinks while they're being made. Even if a person knows more about coffee, which is rare, it won't likely change the quality of their beverage. Show a little trust, or find a place that you can trust.

In a sense, coffee houses have become the public meeting places of our time. They're the town square, per say. However, they're still a business, and they still have to make money. So don't be cheap.

Don't order a double iced espresso and then fill it to the top with non-fat milk at the bar; that would make it an iced latte. Don't only order ice water, and always order something.

It's often said that a penny saved is a penny earned, and that's because a penny isn't worth anything. However, baristas are usually poor, and every penny counts. So if you pay in cash or have some jingling in your pocket, drop a little change in the tip jar.

At one point in my coffee-pouring career, tips covered all of my gas expenses and more. Besides, who wants to appear so cheap that they keep their wallet out so they can save a measly 13 cents? It's like my favorite Gyro stand says: "Tips make food taste better."

So when ordering espresso, remember to put the cell phone away, let the barista do his or her magic and show a little gratitude in the tip jar. It's for the common good of all Seattleites everywhere that our baristas are kept happy.

[Reach columnist Celeste Flint at opinion@thedaily.washington.edu.]