Four million women experience domestic violence every year. More than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends every day. And seventy four percent of employed battered women are harassed at work.

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and the violence is more common than one might think. According to the National Domestic Violence Web site, domestic violence is a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control. And no one is immune to its consequences.

Physical abuse isn’t the only form of abuse, though. Mental and emotional abuse are just as destructive. The National Domestic Violence Web site said things such as withholding affection, a lack of trust and jealous behavior are signs of a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship. Just because no physical symptoms exist does not mean the results aren’t the same.

Ginger Banyai-Riepl, a detective at the UW Police Department, has had her share of domestic and emotional violence cases. Although the detectives don’t specialize in one particular field, Banyai-Riepl has come to be known as the domestic abuse detective.

“With all the training I’ve received, helping those dealing with domestic violence has become my passion,” she said.

Banyai-Riepl became a patrol officer for the UWPD in 2000 and dealt with minor stalking and abuse cases during her patrol time. Since switching to detective status, however, her number of cases has increased.

“Domestic abuse usually doesn’t reach violent status until an offender starts stalking his victim, which usually occurs when she tries to leave the relationship,” she said. “The most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when the woman leaves. It’s then that things can turn violent.”

Unfortunately, many abuses go unreported, usually because the abused doesn’t want the abuser to get in trouble.

“The abused may still love their abuser, and there’s also the possibility that more abuse could occur if they find out they were reported,” Banyai-Riepl said.

Since April of this year to the present, Banyai-Riepl has seen 30 to 50 new cases, with varying levels of severity. She usually sees the more threatening abuse cases with either faculty members or older students, such as graduate students.

“The more serious abuses occur in older students and faculty usually because more has been invested in the relationship,” Banyai-Riepl said. “When the woman tries to leave an already abusive relationship or simply changes her mind, the offender, in his mind, won’t allow it.”

Abuse doesn’t only happen to women though. Banyai-Riepl has received a handful of males who report abuse from their girlfriends, though it is not as common, due to the social stigma.

“Men usually won’t report it because they are embarrassed,” she said. “They don’t want everyone to know that a girl is hitting them.”

Banyai-Riepl recalled a case in which a young man who was a student on campus reported being abused by his girlfriend.

Banyai-Riepl said the victim’s girlfriend was suicidal, which he reported to her parents and then broke up with her. She then apparently punched him in the nose, and began sending him threatening emails, which is when he went to the police to take care of it.

Although many victims do eventually go to the police, some are too afraid of the consequences. What may start as emotional may quickly turn into violent physical abuse. Various resources are available on campus to those who want someone to talk to but don’t want to get law enforcement involved.

The Women’s Action Commission (WAC), a student group on campus, is a resource for students and women in the community who want to talk about domestic abuse.

Started in 1969 by women on campus who wanted to give others a resource and a place to talk about issues, WAC is one of eight diversity commissions, and is located in the HUB.

Junior Selma Dillsi, the director of the group, wants people to think of WAC as a place to go if anyone is having a problem, or just needs someone to talk to.

“WAC is a good place to just come and talk, or to get referrals to other places where more help can be administered,” she said.

Aside from being a therapeutic group, WAC also does a lot of education and collaboration with other groups on campus, such as the Women’s Center and the annual Vagina Monologues.

Although not a lot of domestic abuse cases are reported, Banyai-Riepl and Dillsi agree that having a resource is better than not having one at all.

Banyai-Riepl encourages students who are experiencing abuse or know it is happening not to hesitate to contact the police right away, mainly for one reason: safety.

“Talk to the victim and decide if now is the right time to report the abuse,” she said. “You must be sure that the victim will maintain her safety.”

If it’s not safe to get law enforcement involved, Banyai-Riepl recommends documenting the incidents.

“If I can stress one thing to abuse victims or to those that are aware of abuse going on, it’s to document the alleged attacks. Mark on the calendar if your friend says her boyfriend hit her, or if you notice a black eye,” she said. “Because when you do decide to get police involved, it comes down to his word against yours. You will need proof to back up your story.”

The most important thing to do is to take action, be it proactively or passively. Don’t be afraid to approach a friend who may be suffering from abuse, or to reach out if abuse is a reality in your life.

The National Domestic Violence Web site recommends being non-judgmental, and helping the abused create a safe escape plan. Most of all, they recommend being extremely supportive, both during the abuse as well as after the relationship is over.

Remember that no one deserves abuse, and the campus is an outlet for those in a violent domestic situation. Be aware of those around you and know domestic violence is never OK.

[Reach reporter Stephanie Small at features@thedaily.washington.edu.]