We are at war, people. Wake up. We are knee-deep in a fight that has been going on for years, and the enemy is beginning to get the upper hand.

We won't back down. We cannot back down, because if we back down, the tree huggers will win.

I know it seems scary to think of a world where the environment is of uttermost importance, where global warming is more of an issue than who has the most nuclear weapons under their belt.

They want us to forget that there are more countries to invade, places that yearn for our democratic system, our capitalistic greed and most of all, our delicious fast food.

Instead, they try to brainwash with facts and graphs to say that the world is ending. But I look outside my window, and the sun is still shining. The days are getting warmer, and the winters are becoming milder. If anything, these environmentalists are just trying to ruin a good time with some good weather to match — which makes sense when you think about it.

This is how they've always been. For decades, they've been that itch that never goes away, always warning us about lead-based products and how radiation could kill people. They tried to save forests and wildlife, unaware that people need somewhere to live, and most animals just end up damaging your property value.

However, they've evolved, these tree huggers. They no longer wear their hair in dreads and listen to the devil's music, full of acoustic guitars and singers who write their own lyrics. They don't smoke weed and paint daisies on their cars. They are nothing like our old foe, the hippies from the '70s, because now they've grown up, acquired large monetary incomes and are old enough to be taken seriously.

But we are doing our best to fight against their war on our values and norms. We continue to infuse a general laziness to the American people, causing them to throw recyclables in the trash because "the recycling bin is like, 5 feet farther away dude."

Furthermore, we routinely come up with comical names to call the enemy, like "Tree Huggers," "Earth Lovers" and my personal favorite "Planet Pansies."

Most recently, we received a devastating blow to our front. Their leader, Al Gore, received the Nobel Peace Prize on his collaborative work with the U.N.'s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change for creating awareness of global warming, or as I call it, "voodoo science."

Gore, who is known for his subliminal messages and cheating the American people, stated that "the climate crisis is not a political issue: it is a moral and spiritual challenge to all of humanity." Yet there are whispers circulating the gossip circle that support has gone up to have Gore run for president in 2008.

Clearly, global warming is a political issue. It will be the white stallion Gore rides on throughout the campaigning season, a constant reminder that if we don't elect him this time around, the world will implode upon itself. We won't stop hearing that global warming is actually happening; it wasn't just some get rich quick scheme created by the recycling industry and electing George Bush was a bad idea.

Therefore, we must be strong. To lose our focus and vision for a brighter and certainly warmer future would be surrendering not only to the well being of America, but of the world. It would force us to stray away from what's more important, like whether or not Sen. Larry Craig is actually gay.

Thus, we will not back down. No matter how many Academy, Emmy or Tony awards Mr. Gore may win, he will never take away our freedom to buy oversized cars or eat Big Macs — especially if you eat your Big Mac in an oversized car.

[Reach columnist Eric Uthus at opinion@thedaily.washington.edu.]