Coming soon to a theatre near you:

Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End, Spider-Man 3, Indiana Jones 4, Jurassic Park IV, Rush Hour 3, Hostel: Part II, Shrek the Third, Saw IV, Alien vs Predator: AVP 2, The Hills Have Eyes II ...

I could continue, but who has an attention span that lasts that long?

In the coming year, Hollywood has decided to pull out all the stops. They're digging into every successful franchise from the past few years and bringing us another heart-stopping addition, because who hasn't been dying to see whether or not Captain Jack Sparrow survived The Kraken?

My guess is he didn't.

But seriously, I believe Hollywood deserves some credit, not just for their willingness to continue the adventures of all of our favorite characters, but even reviving Chris Tucker's acting career at the same time.

I think this past year has been a little stale on the sequels. X-Men: The Last Stand had me wondering if mutants were merely what happens when emo kids get angry, Mission: Impossible III was two hours of Tom Cruise running as if Xenu and the Galactic Confederacy had returned, and Final Destination 3 — well, I never saw it. Enough said.

What was the best sequel of the year? Jackass Number Two, and it was everything a sequel should be. Take everything from the first film that was great, and just completely blow it out of the water. That is what the people behind Jackass 2 did, although I doubt it was really that tough. They probably just sat in a circle and played a game of Never Have I Ever.

Why are sequels made in the first place? Well, usually there is a sequel because there wasn't any real closure in the first film. Like in the first Pirates of the Caribbean, Captain Jack Sparrow gets his boat back, Will wins Elizabeth over and everybody goes home happy —

Ok, bad example.

Or how about Shrek? At the end of the film, Shrek ends up with Princess Fiona, gets his swamp back, and — everybody goes home happy.

All right, so maybe it doesn't have to do with closure. Maybe movie companies make sequels because we love the characters so much, we want to know what happens after the credits roll.

For instance, when James Carter and Chief Inspector Lee get on the plane at the end of Rush Hour, I couldn't help but wonder what crazy antics those two would be getting into and how their language barrier would further build their friendship. Or after the first Santa Clause movie, I was dying to see how Tim Allen's character would deal with being Santa in the spring and summer.

All kidding aside, the true reason why a sequel is made is the same reason why they would refry a snickers bar or put a television on the trunk of your car. Because you can never, ever have too much of a good thing. Who doesn't want to see the sixth installment of a movie franchise that depicts the story of a boxer who has the ability to overcome heavyweight champs, Mr. T and the whole Soviet Union?

If there is anything I am sure of, it's this: Sequels will never be made just for the money. I mean, Hollywood isn't THAT bad.

— Eric Uthus

ericuthus@thedaily.washington.edu.