You do it. Your best friend does it. Your dad never shuts up about it. Your mother hates your dad because he never shuts up about it. And you're about one waiver wire move away from having your girlfriend pack up her things and leave.

What am I talking about?

Fantasy football, of course.

As fantasy sports continue to sweep the testosterone-filled, basement-dwelling population of our country, many have begun to complain that they are taking away time that could be used more efficiently, like doing work at the office or spending "quality time" with one's spouse and family. Obviously, these people do not realize the absolute importance fantasy sports have acquired over the years. They also don't know how great it feels to have LaDainian Tomlinson on their fantasy team.

First and foremost, fantasy sports allow men to bond. Opportunities such as this have become sparse, especially now that video games are becoming more expensive and poker games entail mostly everyone walking out with an empty wallet and a deep depression over the "discussion" they'll have to deal with when they return home to their loved ones. Although fantasy leagues generally lead to gambling, you have an entire sports season to make that money back before you inevitably cough it up to the winner.

Furthermore, any guy can get involved with fantasy sports, especially football. Even the people who don't follow every game know that Peyton Manning is not only a better quarterback than Tom Brady, he's also a better VISA spokesperson.

As long as you know last names or a vague description of a player (you know, that guy on the Cowboys who pisses everyone off), you can easily get through a live draft, even if it takes seven hours and enough smack-talking that you're forced to see a psychiatrist afterwards.

I don't understand how women can argue about this, either. They have shopping, tanning and every god-forsaken show that airs on ABC around 8 p.m. Their opportunities to escape from men are endless. Heck, all they have to do is say "Linens 'n Things" and the house will empty out faster than the bleachers of a recent Miami football game. Fantasy sports have become a man's escape from a world of high heels, makeup and Christmas cards. To take away the only thing we have for ourselves would be cruel.

Then, of course, there's the office. Apparently, people are starting to spend hours at work every day checking up on their fantasy sports leagues. Is that really a bad thing? If I were the CEO of some huge corporation, I'd force my employees to form a fantasy league and check it everyday. I mean, isn't it better that they're checking fantasy sports rather than viewing porn or playing useless games like minesweeper and solitaire?

Fantasy sports at least help to build certain skills, like basic arithmetic and multi-tasking. They also require knowing which players to drop or add, which running back plays best against a certain defense and what trade value Daunte Culpepper could possibly have. It sounds like I'm on Wall Street or something. Hell, I would bet that half of the people who do fantasy football could coach the Raiders better than Art Shell, and that's no exaggeration.

What's most important, though, is that fantasy sports allow every guy to live his dream: to manage a team of his favorite players. Because let's face it: When will I ever be able to tell Donovan McNabb that he just isn't performing well enough without getting my ass kicked by him, or worse, his mother?

Columnist Eric Uthus: ericuthus@thedaily.washington.edu