By
Maureen Trantham
November 14, 2006
What if your mornings consisted of waking up, showering and dressing two other individuals before you even thought about going to class or racing for coffee?
What if, instead of worrying about how to pay for concert tickets or astronomically-priced jeans, you worried about where to buy diapers or formula around campus?
For the thousands of single parents around the country attempting to earn a college degree, these questions aren't hypothetical.
Just like the students who were crammed into common rooms in Lander Hall found earlier this year, a less-than-ideal ideal living situation can mean the difference between success and defeat.
According to the National Center for Educational Statistics, 6 percent of students enrolled in four-year programs in 2003- 04 were single parents. The Association for Non-Traditional Students in Higher Education estimates that single mothers make up 45 to 60 percent of non-traditional student populations.
Many of these individuals struggle time and time again to earn college degrees only to be forced to quit and come back after a child's long-term illness, a layoff from a job or a sudden change in financial status has been remedied.
A recent New York Times article entitled "House Mothers," however, details a shift in thinking among many private schools scattered throughout the country in regards to the plight single mothers.
Citing the case of Wilson College, a women's college in south central Pennsylvania, the article highlights the 10-year-old Women with Children Program whereby single mothers are able to live on campus in specially-tailored dormitories without leaving their children behind.
Wilson's program and dozens of other similar programs at co-ed and single-sex schools alike strive for a communal environment in which single parents can lean on one another for emotional support and babysitting.
Through an endowment, Wilson College pays all child care expenses and provides mothers with academic mentors. With financial burdens lifted, single mothers have the ability to learn uninterrupted during the day and spend time with their children at night and on weekends, according to the article.
"It used to be that if my car broke down, my whole world would crumble," said Sherri Peters, a single mother at Wilson. "My car has been broken down for weeks now, and I haven't noticed. I have a roof over my head, I can feed my child, daycare is downstairs and I have the patience at the end of the day to be a good mom."
So the question is: Why are public universities with the largest populations of single parents missing the boat?
While the UW can barely house its own freshmen, it offers severely limited housing options based on prioritized wait lists for single-parent families (listed as "Priority 2" with waiting periods of six months to a year and a half), which potentially holds a significant portion of its non-traditional student population.
And while there are subsidized child care options available through the UW, they certainly aren't free, even for full-time students. And in the past, even these facilities have held substantial wait lists.
Public universities — supposedly the servants of their state's diverse population — could do significantly more to assist single parents who deserve higher education just as much as, or even more than, their childless student peers.
If small, private schools who typically only offer merit-based aid are able to substantially support single parents, why cannot larger universities — so focused on subsidizing other needy populations — help single parents achieve their goals?
Small schools such as Wilson College have set the standard in terms of ensuring the academic success of single mothers.
One hopes that more universities with bigger names and greater resources will now step up and follow suit.
Maureen Trantham: maureentrantham@thedaily.washington.edu
13 Comments
#1 Melissa
on November 14, 2006 at 8:20 p.m.(UW Campus | Unverified Name)
Single mothers should think about this kind of thing BEFORE they have kids. Women put off having children so they can get an education or a career specifically to avoid the hardships. We shouldn't make it easier for women to be single mothers, but harder. If you can't afford a kid, don't have one.
#2 Christy
on November 27, 2006 at 7:49 p.m.(Brownwood, TX | Unverified Name)
Being a single mother is hard why make it harder? Think about this what if she wasn't single, but her husband left her and he dosen't help support them !! So she has to work part time and go to college full time to support her self and the kid. Every woman has a different situation, but why rub it in there face that they can't afford there children? Maybe you should be a little more considerate!
#3 Erica
on November 28, 2006 at 11:15 p.m.(Bridgewater, NJ | Unverified Name)
As a single parent by choice raising three children, working full time and attending college part-time, I believe it would be a great idea. Maybe if I would have had this option when I had my first child maybe I would have had my degree prior to the last two. (It seems more like an encouragment to help the parent to get back on the right track instead of continuing in the same cycle.) But taking care of my child was my first priority so I dropped out of school. We do have a right to get an education as any other childless person does. By the grace off God I will rec my accounting degree (for the record I received my Associates already w/ 3 children). It is not easy by fair but will be well worth it in the end. Be careful when passing judgement on others for their choices, you never know what the future holds for you. Be grateful that the person wants to get an education so they will not use your tax dollars to take care of themselves and their children!! I pray that you never make a choice that causes a detour in your life or anyone else's choice that may alter your perfect life. Just because we are single parents wanting to get a quality education does not mean we can not afford our children. I do not rec any financial assistances from the government. the majority of my education is paid each semester by student loans not grants. I own my own home in pretty decent area and not because someone gave it to me. I still provide for my children on my own.
#4 Merideth
on January 13, 2007 at 5:32 p.m.(Wesley Chapel, FL | Unverified Name)
Hey Melissa, let me ask you something, ya know, since you're so damn educated and think you know what the best answer is, so, should I be refused help becuase Im a single mom and struggling, and for once in my life needing help , (which by the way, IS OK) anyway, think about it. I was married, wealthy, and half way through school, life was great, but then I found out I married a physco, got the living crap beat out of me, all the money drained from our accounts, and ended up in shelters with my baby, I had no reason to believe that I couldnt take care of a child to the highest degree; since he was in a great career, I was just about done, we were wealthy, I love my child, etc., so what now Melissa? Am I just left behind for a bad decision? He's now in a mental hospital classified as a Sociopath, every dr. will tell you that there is really no way for me or others to know this, they're (Sociopaths) very good at what they do. Just one favor to ask you, and that's do not!! have children, me among others are just sick about the way children turn out because of they're parents, one of those children, being, ignorant, spoiled, you. You have absolutley no idea what people's situations are and why, how dare you
#5 Angela
on February 7, 2007 at 11:52 p.m.(Mililani, HI | Unverified Name)
Merideth & Melissa,
I can empathize with both your situations. My father died when I was in HS and I saw my mother suffer financially from the loss. My father was the primary breadwinner for our family. Despite my father's death...my three siblings and I graduated highschool with honors. I was the eldest. I vowed that I would never put myself in the same situation that my mother was did..being financially dependent on a man. My father was a wonderful husband and a great dad. But there are no guarantees in life and I learned early on that the only person you can really count on is yourself. So I can relate with you Melissa. After highschool I received a full-scholarship to attend one of the best schools in the country. During the summer I decided to take classes out of state....and I ended up meeting the love of my life. At least that was what I thought at the time..we fell madly in love, I decided not to return to my homeschool and continued my studies out of state to be with my future husband. In the begining he supported my studies even paying for my classes..then he became controlling. He didn't want me to attend school prefering for me to stay home to take care of him and his 2 daughters from a prior marriage. Shortly then I discovered I was pregnant...so that put my education on hold. During my pregnancy my fiance's behavior became volatile, often flying into rage over the smallest things...he became violent, angry, and dangerous. I never expected any of this to happen...he was so kind and loving when we met, it was hard to believe he was the same person. Anyhow, similar to Merideth situation, he was an affluent man and well respected in the community only I knew the real truth about him. Fast forward...without the financial resources, I was forced to give him custody of my child. He hid my child from me for 2 years until I found a lawyer to assist me in reinforcing my visitation rights. My ex still has custody of my son who's 7-now, I had to postphone my education because I was in and out of court for over 3-years trying to regain custody..not having a college degree limited my career options. My family is out of state and I'm virtually left with no resources. The unversity that previously offered me the full scholarship is willing to continue to support my educational goals..but that would mean that I leave my son to continue my schooling out of state. I'm left with a difficult decision. I know that going back to school is the best thing for me..but I can't ever recapture that time lost with my son. Yes, I should have completed my schooling before having my child...I think about that everyday. But then I look at my son now, he's smart and beautiful and he fills my life with so much love and joy...how can I regret not having him? So although I had wished things had turned out differently, something wonderful came out of this horrible experience. We all make mistakes were all human, but the key here is to focus on the solution not the problem.
#6 Carol
on March 2, 2007 at 7:44 p.m.(Bellingham, WA | Unverified Name)
I'm a single parent, and I'm going to college and work part time. It wasn't my choice to raise my child by myself. Sometimes people choose the wrong partner and they just abandoned you and the child. My child goes to private school and I'm giving him the best life as possible. And, this should make it harder for me to go to College? I really don't agree with some comments that some people wrote above. Just wait till you have your own kids and you will see reality on how hard is to raise children this days (even with having BOTH parents in the child's life).
#7 The Great Spirit Center
on October 3, 2007 at 7:46 a.m.(Henderson, NV | Unverified Name)
October 3, 2007
Re: Introducing The Great Spirit Center, a Public Benefit Charity – Non Profit Corporation Since 1992 and Christina Princely, CEO To the Cyber World
Hello, I am Christina Princely. Fox 11 in Los Angeles is Great with doing stories to help the community. Please see my website at www.thegreatspiritcenter.org
and see the video's of the stories Fox 11 did on me a few years ago in LA. (Click on Founder, Mission, Awards and Donation pages)
Here is just a couple of weeks work:
I accomplished getting a car refinanced for a Single Mom. Also, I helped her pay off her bills, and saved her about $800.00 by making Settlements for her with the creditor; while supplying food to a Pre School for Hispanic Children plus supplying food for other families.
During the past month, I was able to get a Scholarship for a young mom with two little boys to become a Certified Bartender, help her with her car problem, keep their utilities on and supply them with groceries.
I was able to get a mom's "REPOSSESSED" car back and have $800. in Fees Reversed, get her a Grant to move into an apartment, supply food weekly for her and her little boys.
Two other Single Moms were assisted by getting “deferred†payments for two months for their cars and help to keep their utilities on, plus supplying food for their families. This Charity has supplied food to the Safe House, Churches, Synagogues and people who are out of work and need food, as well as following our program for Single Parents with Dependent Children.
Today, a Mom came to me in depression. Her car was in the shop and it would have taken $480.00 to get it out, but because we have a Lee, a man of integrity, who is the most honest Mechanic, a real mechanic, as part of our Team, she will only have to pay for a new Battery and Diagnostic procedures, which has been reduced to $247.00. Some companies will donate parts, tires etc to help through The Great Spirit Center. Lee has donated many hours and work to help repair cars for the charity. Lee needs to be "cloned" and be in each city. Transportation is extremely important for Single Parents as they have to take the children to school, preschool and then go to work.
Yesterday, I met a lady, who is working two jobs to support her 5 children ages 3-10 years old. She has to work two jobs and almost never sees her children. I can help her if I continue to keep the charity open, but if I have to close, I will no longer be able to help anyone.
There are so many cases, but I cannot keep going UNLESS, the communities finds this program worthy and contribute financially. There is a Way, a Better Way and we have the answer at The Great Spirit Center.
Cheryl W. LA
A Rewarding True Case
One of the best and most rewarding stories is about a young mother, who was a former flight attendant, who had a degree, but married a man, who shunned and refused his responsibility to support his family. He left her without anything but an old car. She
Had no one but the little child. When she came to me, I negotiated rent for her to move into an apartment, furnished the apartment with housewares, furniture, gave her some clothes, food and placed her in school. The child was in childcare as she attended school.
She became a Para Legal and continued until she is now a Degreed Para Legal and her child, who is now grown attended UCLA last year and is studying abroad this year.
Yes, she worked, still lives in the same apartment, but is a Woman and Mom. I applaud her so very much. ( She may agree to an interview also) There are others like her, but many move away, some get remarried, some refuse to remember the past and see it as a new Hope and Encouragement for others in their place now. I never force anyone to
Come forward, but it is very helpful when they do, so that others will find “HOPEâ€
And develop their “FAITHâ€.
Incidentally, Faith means “confidence, certainty†and is not always related to “religionâ€, though correct understanding of the teachings from the Good Books is always helpful.
This is a copyrighted program, proven effective since 1992 in Los Angeles. Please help
Us keep this charity alive and active. Single Parents NEED Help to raise healthy, well balanced children. http://thegreatspiritcenter.chipin.co...
#8 Precious Pilling
on December 13, 2007 at 10:29 p.m.(Jacksonville, FL | Unverified Name)
Hi i'm responding about the comment about single mothers. Saying that they should not make things easier but harder for single mothers. first of all it's not easy at all we all have it a little harder than people who don't have kids. my mother used drugs since i was 12years old, school wasn't forced for me but i still was determined to finish. by age 13 i was taking care of myself. until i met a boyfriend and he payed the electric bills and rent because i couldn't my mother was to strung out to think of me. yes i did become a teen parent through it all i still graduated high school, and I have and Associates degree and i plan on going back to school to get my bachelors so Mrs. Mellissa it was very hard for me it wasn't easy at all some people aren't spoiled or don't get everything they want or need as kids. and I'm sure you was never perfect.
#9 chrissy
on January 9, 2008 at 11:53 p.m.(Irvington, NJ | Unverified Name)
I'm a single mother and it is very hard to raise a child with no father, not in school to finsh my last year and working to jobs just to survive. I live with my mother and my other siblings including my grumpy grandfather,but having family that throwing things in my face about having my child .I just really need to move out and i have the money to do it.
#10 MELISSA C.
on January 21, 2008 at 2:52 p.m.(Chapel Hill, NC | Unverified Name)
I'am a single mom of four children and to be very real about my stituation is hard to raise four beautiful children on you're own. But if I had made good decisions before I even thought about starting a family or had a trusting adult to talk to me about what lies ahead if I started having kids I wouldn't have had more than one child. Life itself and rasing my children is hard but if it had not been for the goodness of god I don't know how me and my family could have made it.
#11 Katherine
on May 2, 2008 at 10:26 a.m.(Pittsburgh, PA | Unverified Name)
Wow, Melissa. You show your ignorance. Perhaps after you have a little more life experience under your belt you'll understand that not all single parents are people incapable of planning ahead and just hoping for a handout. Sometimes the best laid plans don't work out the way you think they will.
Besides, an educated society benefits everyone. Case in point, two single parents are in nursing school. One goes to a school with no assistance from anyone. Struggles the whole way through, never gets to study as much as she wishes she could because she's working two jobs on top of school and being a mom. She passes though. As they say, C=RN.
The other mother goes to a school that provides support for single mothers. She has access to reasonably priced student housing, she can make use of the onsite daycare. She is able to study sufficiently and gets A's. Which one do you want walking into your hospital room, dear?
Just one example. Try for two seconds to put yourself in someone else's shoes.
#12 Crystal
on May 13, 2008 at 6:32 a.m.(Sudbury, Canada | Unverified Name)
Everyone seems to be contradicting what Melissa has said. And everyone is justified for it. I am a single mother who had the "perfect life". I made the decision of having children before a career. I have seen to many people who have paid out for schooling to just quit their careers to be full time mothers. I decided to skip the money wasting part have my children put them in school than worry about me. Rather than leave my children behind because my career is too important. I never planned out to be single mother, but bumps on the road just make you stronger. I believe that my grades in school now are much higher than what they would have been not having had such opportunities.
#13 Julie, RN
on October 14, 2009 at 2:45 a.m.(None, None | Unverified Name)
I have to say this comment about the grades is somewhat presumptious. The fact of the matter is, I am that single mother that graduated a B/C student. I have been a nurse for 12 years. I have worked with many nurses from many different educational backgrounds. Some had a BSN, some had a Master's...some bragged about getting straight A's. Booksmart isn't everything when you walk into a patient's room. Most of nursing, is common sense. I've worked with plenty of A "graduates" who didn't have an ounce of common sense and I wouldn't allow to take care of my cat.
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